I know I shouldn’t, but I give in because I’m tired and overthinking. I face him on my side but keep myself from touching him. “Better?”
“A little.” He almost smiles. “Why are you still up?”
I explain that I drove Seaborn home and what’s going on.
“Why did that make you need to talk to me?” He always sees right through me.
I know I have to rip the Band-Aid off, but I’m scared. I don’t want to hurt him, and I don’t want to lose him. “I hate the space between us. Him and I talked about it a little, and I don’t want it to get worse.”
He nods but doesn’t say anything.
My chest aches. How did this get so messed up?
“How can I fix it?”
He picks up his head. “Stop putting space between us.”
I cringe, but I guess I deserve it. I’m trying to protect myself, but he doesn’t fucking know that. “I’m not meaning to.”
“I know, but it sucks.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“I can deal with all the frustrations that come along with this if I have you, but not both.” He blows out a breath and looks into my eyes.
“What do you mean? Are you getting a lot of shit from the guys? Did Ridgeway say something?” Now I’m pissed.
His brows pulls, and his eyes darken, and I brace myself for what he’s about to say. “No, it’s not about Ridgeway. He’s—it’s not that. It’s…” Wolfe’s frown deepens.
“What is it?”
“I haven’t touched anyone else in months, and you won’t get near me. I have no fucking comfort. No physical contact. If you and I were the same, it would be different.”
I chew my lip and consider his words before I speak. “Are you regretting this?”
“I don’t know.” His tone kills me. “I hate that it’s fucked us up.”
I deserve all of it, but that doesn’t make it hurt less. “Do you want to go back to sleeping with other people?”
He growls, flopping over to his back. “No, I want you to treat me like you used to.”
“I can try.” I tentatively reach between us, skimming my fingers over his stomach.
He turns toward me, but doesn’t move, letting me lead. My chest cracks open as I scoot closer, wanting so badly for this to be reality and not just comforting a friend.
I lay my head on his shoulder and tuck my arm around him, settling in and praying I don’t get hard. He exhales, tense body relaxing, which warms me through. “This better?”
He nods. “Much.”
We’re quiet for a few minutes.
“Are you sure you don’t want to go back to sleeping with people? Even if it’s on the down low.”
He grabs my chin tilting my face up. “No.”
My skin ignites where he touches. “It would be easier?—”
Wolfe cuts me off. “I don’t want easy, and guys on the team already know. How would that look?”
