He cuts me off. “I haven’t even tried to touch you the last two days. Don’t insult yourself like that. It’s not just about sex.”
My head is spinning.
I can’t figure out what this is. If he wants to fuck, he doesn’t have to do all this. I told him I would when we got home, but we just haven’t found the time yet. We could have stayed in tonight and had a great time.
Maybe he thinks he has to take me out to dinner before we can fuck like we are trapped in heteronormativity. Or maybe he doesn’t want me to feel like a puck bunny. It’s cute.
But he really didn’t have to take me out, and at the same time, I don’t want the night to end.
“You just want to do this?”
“Yes, how many times do I need to tell you I want to keep doing this. You said you were enjoying yourself.”
“I am.” It’s my turn to look at my drink.
“Then what’s the problem?”
The lines are so blurred. I don’t know what to think.
“And sex?” I ask when I know I probably shouldn’t. I don’t want to give him the idea that I don’t want that to continue, because I do. I’m way too weak to stop.
“Only if you want to.”
“I do,” I mutter, embarrassed about how much I want to keep touching him.
He grabs my hands. “Let me take care of your needs, too.”
“You have.”
“No, not just getting you off. Let me give you what you want.”
“I don’t know what you mean?” I wish I could melt into the bench.
“I think you do. You told me you don’t usually find what you want in a guy.”
“I did say that.” Fuck my life. I cannot believe we’re actually having this conversation.
“You want to be fucked by someone who can handle you. I can handle you. Let me give you what you want.” He’s dead serious and way too irresistible to be saying this.
I’m instantly hard, and I can’t breathe.
How can I say no?
“It’s more than that…”
“I know.” He slides a finger under my chin, making me look up.
“How do you know?” I say indignantly.
“I’ve done research. I know how gay sex goes.”
I nearly choke on my drink. “What?”
“I have porn hub.”
“Have you been watching gay porn?” I look around like I’m being punked or someone is recording us.
“Why don’t we go home, and you can judge for yourself?”
