And on the flipside of that, could I truly see myself with a boy working a nine to five job? I don’t know. Somehow, I doubt it.
“Thank you,” I say, broken out of my thoughts as the bartender carefully places down my drink. “I’ll have another one after this. And then one more. Then I’ll be done.”
“As you wish, sir,” the bartender says, his voice reverential as he walks away and takes his station back behind the bar.
He knows that he’ll need to watch me, be ready for when I require my next drink. He probably thinks I’m a good tipper too. And I am. I value precision, timing, and attention to detail. And when I get good service, I like to reward it—and reward it well.
Bad service though?
Sloppiness?
Sass?
Well these are things that don’t get rewarded.
These are things that getpunished.
My apartment is large but sparsely furnished. I inherited it from my Great Aunt, a wonderful woman who died many a long year ago—and as much as I enjoyed her various baubles, toys, and decorations as a child, there really was no room for them when I moved in.
But that’s what storage rooms are for, right? A place to keep all the old stuff from times gone by. It was a different way of life back then. As a child I had no comprehension of what I’d end up doing with my days. There was even a moment where I felt like I might go to college and train to be a teacher. But those dreams were swiftly put to an end by my father…
Son, you will learn the family trade.
You are a Zorin.
And we hunt our prey like no other man of Russian blood…
“Okay, time for a little nightcap,” I mutter to myself as I move from the entrance lobby into the kitchen, my eyes drawn toward the half-full vodka on the counter. “Whisky in the city, vodka in the home.”
I chuckle to myself as I recall the words of my Aunt. She knew how to enjoy herself when it came to booze, that was for damn sure. I’m more controlled in my drinking, but that’s not to say that it’s not a major part of my life.
“Here’s to another night,” I say as I raise my glass toward the small Polaroid photo of my Aunt, me, and my father up on the refrigerator door. “Same time tomorrow.”
I down the vodka and pour myself another before walking from the kitchen into the large living room that runs the width of the apartment. Aside from a small television set and a couple of sofas there’s not much in here. Sure, the Parque flooring looks great and the large, exposed brick walls look fine too.
But this is very much a minimalist space.
I guess the nature of my work—no, my life—is that I’m out on the streets most days and nights. I don’t like to spend too much time home alone. Call it instinct, or maybe it’s something else deeper inside me. I feel like a caged animal when I’m here for too long.
But as I stand before the window and stare out onto the city, I wonder for a moment what it would feel like to have someone here with me. Even for just a night or two.
After all, Viktor has made it work with his boy. But then again, Viktor is a pakhan. He makes his own rules, he sets his own timetable. Viktor has staff, security, a whole framework in place that allows him to handle family business while at the same time make a relationship work.
Still, there’s a nagging thought in my head that I’m missing out on something.
Orsomeone…
“It’d never work.” I mutter, finishing off my vodka and unbuttoning my shirt.
I turn and make my way toward the bathroom. I don’t need any more alcohol, that’s for sure. The last thing I want is to get overly emotional or all sad about my life of solitude. That’s weak sauce. And I’m not weak.
I strip out of my clothes and underwear and stand naked in the bathroom. A quick turn of the shower tap and the shower water is blasting down with a powerful jet of hot water.
Soon enough the bathroom will be full of steam, but I quickly check my phone and see that my payment for tonight’s work has indeed hit my account. Good old Viktor. He might be the Downtown Devil, but when it comes to the financial side of things he’s a gift from heaven.
Buoyed by the amount of zeros on my bank account app, I step into the shower with all thoughts of my lonely life banished for now at least.
However I still have boys on my mind.
