“Is she OK?” I sigh and lean into his touch.
“I think so. I think she’s just got a lot of questions tonight. I apologise in advance if she grills you. She asked me if I still loved her now that I loved you. I… Fuck, I don’t know if I said the right thing.”
“Hey, shhh,” he coos, pressing a soft kiss to my lips. “She’s processing a lot of change, and she had therapy today, right?” I nod. “So, she’s likely got a lot of emotions and thoughts very close to the surface. The fact that she’s asking is a good sign, you know all this, Doc.” He tilts his head to the side and looks up at me matter-of-factly.
“I know, it’s just… it hits differently as Daddy than it does as Doctor.”
“I bet. OK, I’m gonna go up and read her a story, and you get the wine.” He presses a kiss to my lips, and then he’s gone.
I do as instructed, pouring two glasses of Malbec and taking them to the coffee table. I pick up the last couple of toys that Nancy had been playing with before bedtime, and then pace the room agitatedly, worrying about my baby girl.
About thirty minutes later, Corey comesback downstairs with a soft smile on his face.
“She’s waiting for you,” he says, brushing his hand across my chest as he passes me. He takes a seat on the sofa and takes a sip of his wine, sighing as he relaxes into the cushions.
I take the stairs two at a time, then force my pace to slow before I burst into Nancy’s room like the world is on fire. Instead, I quietly step inside and keep my voice low, since she’s already drifting off.
“OK now, sweetheart?” I ask. She nods, but holds her arms out to me. I kneel on the floor next to her bed and lean over her, allowing her to wrap her thin arms around my neck and hug me.
“I love you the most most, Daddy,” she says. “But I love Bunny a lot as well. Not like you love him like Bandit and Chilli, but like my bestest friend.”
“That sounds perfect, sweetheart. I love you so much. Now close those tired eyes and try to get some sleep.”
“Hold my hand?” I smile and take her hand as she lies back down and closes her eyes. Within minutes, her breathing slows, and the weight of her thoughts lifts from her shoulders as she relaxes into sleep.
I stay with her a little longer, before tucking her arm into her blanket as she prefers, and padding quietly out of the room. I leave her door open a touch and find my way to the stairs by the soft glow of her night light shining onto the landing.
Corey is waiting for me on the sofa, and I puff my cheeks out as I release a long, slow breath, then plop down next to him and lie down, resting my head in his lap.
“You OK, babe?” he asks gently as he cards his fingers through my hair.
“Yeah,” I breathe, relaxing into his touch. “I wasn’t expecting that tonight, I’ll be honest. Took me by surprise.”
“Kids have a habit of doing that,” he chuckles, and I look up to meet his eyes.
“You took me by surprise, too, you know,” I say after a minute. His eyes glow with love, and I think he is the most beautiful man in the world.
“I did?” he asks.
“Mmhm. Your humour, the way you challenge me to think differently, the way you bring lightness into my world.” He smiles up at me, the setting sun shining through the windowbeside us painting him in a soft golden glow. He is exquisite.
“Your terrible taste in coffee.” He punches me teasingly in the shoulder at that. “Your kindness, your boundless hope, every little thing about you took me by surprise, and I never thought I liked surprises. But you were the very best one I could ever have imagined. I feel honoured just to be in your orbit, baby, because you are the sun, and the rest of us are just trapped in your gravity. I love you so much, baby.”
He leans down and kisses me, softly stroking my lips until I open for him. Our tongues dance sensually for long seconds until he pulls away.
“I love you too. Your steadiness, the way you make me feel safe and cared for. The way you fuss, and how you can’t ever just leave a mess without feeling the need to clean it up. The way your smile makes my tummy flip and the way you seem like this straightlaced grown-up, but when you’re behind closed doors, you turn into an absolute filth pot.”
We both laugh, and I bury my face in his stomach at his words. I notice he’s wearing my old uni hoodie again, and I smile into it.
“Watching you with Nancy is like watchingyou as the person you were always meant to be. I want to watch you with her every single day. The way you love her, babe, even when you’re so exhausted you can barely keep your eyes open, is vast. It’s unending. And I just hope that maybe one day I can be even a little bit a part of that.”
“You already are, baby,” I say, my emotions practically choking me. “I want nothing more than to see how big this thing between us could be.”
He nods at me in agreement, and I can’t help but be pleased that we might, after all these months of distance, finally be ready to step into one another, into our future, together. As a family.
“Do you feel ready? Ready for this? For us?” I need him to say the words. I can’t let Nancy get any more attached to him without some verbal confirmation of where the feelings we’ve both admitted to might be leading.
“I do,” he whispers. “I’ve talked about my past until I’m blue in the face, and while I don’t think I’m ready to stop going to therapy, maybe I never will be, at least not completely, I know that I am here, present with you, and I’m so fucking ready to walk into the future with you by my side.”
