And I refuse to let anyone else get caught in the crosshairs of his delusions.
It’s all very clear to me now. What I have to do.
No matter what or who I might want in my life, no matter the future I choose for myself, none of it is possible while he’s still lurking around like a bad smell.
There’s an officer stationed outside my hospital room, which is, in and of itself,unnerving, yet necessary for my sense of safety and security. Rain has been treated for his injuries, but he’s asleep right now, leaving me alone with nothing but my thoughts and the Mills and Boon romance novel left in this room by its previous occupant.
It’s a little after eleven o’clock at night when I hear a gentle tap tap tap on the door. I almost don’t hear it at first, the quiet sound competing with the rain pattering against the windows. But then I hear it again, slightly louder this time. I sit up straighter, a swoop of terror making me feel sick.
The relief that hits me in the next second is overwhelming, almost violent in its intensity. Because there, standing in the doorway to my darkened room, lit from behind by the bright hospital hallway, is Nash.
All at once, my throat closes up, and tears spill over, racing down my cheeks as a sob escapes me. I battle with the blankets, trying to get onto my knees, to get to him.
And then he’s there.
Beside me.
Surrounding me.
His arms wrap around my waist, and mine cling to his neck like he’s the only thingkeeping me secured to the earth.
He holds me tight to his chest, shushing me and whispering sweet words of safety and care as the sobs I’ve been pressing down since Dominic’s cruel voice whispered into my ear a few days ago are finally released.
It’s catharsis, this act of crying in the arms of a man like Nash. His solidity, his steadfastness, his warmth all connected and all-consuming. He holds me together as I fall apart, and I’ve never wanted to be anywhere as much as I want to be right here, right now, always.
But I can’t have always. We don’t have forever.
And despite what I’d almost been able to convince myself I could try for, I understand the truth of things now.
I need to tell Nash what I’ve decided – Rain and Aidan too – but not right now. I can’t.
Right now, I just need this.
Him.
“C-could I…” I hesitate, not sure how to ask for this.
“Do you want to come back to mine?” he asks, once again proving he can read my mind. I give him a nod, because that’s exactlywhat I want. Not least because Aidan and Rain need some time and space to reconnect. Mainly, Aidan needs to reassure himself that Rain is really going to be OK, that he’s home where he belongs.
But also because there are things to be said.
It takes a while for us to be ready to leave the hospital and head back to Fenside Common. Rain and I both get discharged the next morning into Nash’s medical supervision, even though I’m physically fine. The drive back is quiet, disturbed only by two phone calls.
The first, to Nash, his social worker, confirming that Nancy will be officially moving in with him tomorrow, on New Year’s Eve. His excitement is palpable, and we’re all smiling as he hangs up the phone. She’d called him on the way to London last night to tell him they needed to expedite the move-in since Nancy was getting restless and just wanted to be at home with Nash. I guess since they were so close to that point anyway, they’ve been able to approve it.
The second, to me – and Rain, really – was DI Martin confirming Dan has been charged, and the NMO for Dominic is now in place. In theory, I should be relieved by this. If Dominiccomes near me, he’ll be arrested. But the reality is that Dominic won’t give two shits about a piece of paper, and he can inflict a lot of damage in the time it takes the police to get somewhere as rural as Fenside Common.
I smile and nod in all the right places, and Nash places a reassuring hand on my thigh briefly before he returns it to the wheel of the Land Rover. I smile at him, but from his expression, I know it doesn’t reach my eyes.
We arrive at Aidan and Rain’s house, and with a look at Nash, he tells Aidan I’m going with him. He also offers to take Pax so Aidan can focus on Rain, and he gratefully accepts.
Pax bounds out of the house, closely followed by Wren, and I’m so relieved to see him up and about. I clamber out of the car and crash to my knees in front of him when he comes to me. I’m hugging the dog, his chin on my shoulder, even as he whines, watching Aidan hold up Rain. When I release him, he goes to check on them both, but quickly returns to my side.
“I think he wants to know you’re OK, Corey,” Aidan says around a chuckle, and I smile as I stroke the big dog’s soft head.
“Archer and Cole were here, but they left after breakfast to give you guys some space,”Wren says. “They’re looking forward to catching up with you both when you’re up to it, though.” She kisses me lightly on the cheek, then does the same with Rain before climbing into her truck and driving away.
I hug Rain and explain I’m going to go and talk to Nash. He gives me a sly grin, and I wince internally because this is so not going to be the conversation he thinks it is. I climb back into Nash’s car, having let Pax up into the back seat, and I wait for him to join me.
