My hands shake. I press them against mythighs.
"You said you'd take whatever I could give," I say, hearing the desperation now. “You said that."
Pain flickers across his face. Brief. Gone.
"I was wrong." He meets my eyes. "I thought I could. I can't."
Silence stretches.
The words are right there.I'll stay. I'm choosing you.
But they won't come.
"I just—" My voice sounds small. "I need a little more time."
Something in him breaks.
"You think I'll be fine." Not a question. An accusation. "You keep talking like the worst thing that happens is things being hard for a while."
"What else—"
"I'll never be fine without you." His voice goes rough. Raw. "I wasn't fine the first time. I learned how topretend." He drags a hand through his hair and I see it shake. "There's a difference."
A tear escapes before I can stop it.
"When you came back," he continues, " For awhile I thought—" He stops. Starts again. "It felt like everything made sense. Like I hadn't been stupid to hope." His voice cracks. "Losing you once almost broke me. Watching you decide to leave again?" He shakes his head. "That's worse."
The words land like physical blows.
My throat closes. Tears burn hot behind my eyes and I can't stop them anymore. One escapes, then another, tracking down my cheeks.
"I’m sorry," I whisper.
It's all I have left. The only truth that matters and it changes nothing.
"I know."
The gentleness in those two words makes it worse somehow. Like he's already letting me go.
I see it now—too late, always too late—how every careful word has been a knife. How "I haven't decided" translates to "you're not enough." How asking for time means I'm already halfway gone.
I thought I was protecting us both.
I was just breaking him slowly instead of all at once.
"I'm not trying to hurt you," I say, but my voice cracks on the words.
"I know," he says again.
The silence that follows feels final.
Then he takes a breath, and I know—Iknow—what's coming before he says it.
"I won't do this again, Hazel."
Not angry. Not pleading. Just absolutely certain.
"I survived you leaving once. I'm not doing it twice."
