I watch. The mare's ears flick back. Forward. Back again.
"She's deciding," I say.
"That's right." He shifts his weight slightly, angling away, giving her space. "Let her make the choice. She'll come around."
And she does. Takes three steps toward him. Stops. Another two steps. Finally close enough to blow air at his outstretched hand.
He doesn't move. Just waits.
When she finally nuzzles his palm, he smiles.
"See? Patience, Hazelnut. That's all it takes."
I open my eyes.
"I don't have your patience," I tell the headstone. "I never did."
The wind rustles through the cottonwood, and for just a second, I swear I can hear his voice.
You've got more than you think, Hazelnut. You just gotta give yourself room to use it.
I push to my feet, brushing grass and dew from my jeans.
For a long moment, I just stand there, looking down at his name carved into stone.
Then I look past it, down the hill toward the ranch.
The barn sits dark in the early light. The house with its porch light still burning. The pastures stretching out beyond, cattle already moving toward the feed. The whole place spread out like he would have seen it every morning when he came up here.
It's still standing.
It's still his.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do here," I say quietly. "But I'll figure it out."
The sun climbs higher, warming my face.
I reach out and rest my hand on top of the headstone. The granite is cold and smooth beneath my palm.
"I miss you," I whisper.
Then I turn and walk back down the hill.
By the time I reach the house, Mae's already up. I can see her silhouette moving past the kitchen window.
I take a breath, wipe my face one more time, and head inside.
She looks up when I come through the door, coffee mug halfway to her mouth.
"You're up early," she says.
"Couldn't sleep."
Her eyes track over my face—the red rims, the wet streaks I probably didn't get all the way. She doesn't comment. Just nods and turns back to the counter.
"Coffee's fresh," she says.
I pour myself a cup and wrap my hands around it, letting the heat seep into my palms.
