“That’s not true,” I croaked. “You also have me.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CYRENE
Ihesitated, my heart still racing from the raw honesty in his voice when he’d said he was my friend. And I realized it was true. I’d gone from thinking he was a betrayer to someone I cared for.
When exactly had that happened? Maybe somewhere between us saying I do and him declaring himself for me in the ballroom.
Or perhaps it had been happening all along. How could I not fall for someone who made sure I had my favorite foods and tea? He’d insisted the staff treat me as their queen from the day I arrived. He’d set up my workshop and furnished it with supplies and appeared unafraid of witch magic when most vampires would recoil. He’d been courting me all along, showing me who he was beneath the crown and reserved exterior.
The man many believed was cold and calculating had looked at me tonight with so much vulnerability it took my breath away. I’d been falling for him piece by piece, day by day, without even realizing it. Not for the memory of a festival wizard, but for the complex, thoughtful man he’d become.
Every part of me wanted to close the distance between us, to tell him I understood now, that I saw him clearly for the first time since I’d arrived. But the words got stuck in my throat.
His expression shifted, shuttering behind his gorgeous blue eyes. He raked both hands through his hair, disheveling the carefully styled strands.
“I should—” He turned toward the door. “I have matters requiring my attention. You’re free to read or retire if you wish. I won’t disturb you tonight.”
The formal tone was back, that careful distance he’d maintained those first few days coating him like armor.
“Kieran, wait.”
He paused, one hand on the doorframe, but he didn’t turn around.
I crossed to him, noting details I’d been too caught up in our conversation to see before. The shadows beneath his eyes. The tension in his shoulders. The way he held himself with rigid control, as if he was afraid he was going to shatter if he relaxed even a bit.
“When did you last feed?” I asked.
His back stiffened. “That’s not your concern.”
“It’s been days, hasn’t it?” Why hadn’t I noticed? I moved closer, until I could see the muscle jumping in his jaw. “Why?”
“I told you. That’s not?—”
“Kieran.”
He finally turned, and the naked vulnerability in his expression stole my breath. “Because I don’t like forcing you to endure it.” The words came out rough, almost angry. “I don’t like that you have to submit to something you clearly find distasteful just because our arrangement requires it.”
I blinked. “I never said it was distasteful.”
“You don’t have to say it. I can feel your apprehension through the bond, your—” His jaw clenched. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll manage.”
“By starving yourself?” Warmth unfurled in my chest, very close to tenderness. He was denying himself because he thought he was protecting me. This brooding, careful man who carried the weight of a kingdom on his shoulders, was worried about my comfort. “I don’t mind. Truly.”
“Well, I mind. You deserve better than being treated as a convenient source of food.”
We stood there, locked in what felt like an impasse, and panic fluttered through my chest. He’d opened himself to me in a way I’d never expected, had shown me pieces of his heart, and now he was going to walk away thinking I didn’t care.
“I’m happy here,” I said. The words felt huge, heavy with meaning I wasn’t ready to examine. “I’m happy with our marriage.”
He stilled. “You’re what?”
“I know it’s not—we didn’t exactly—” I fumbled for words, heat creeping up my neck. “But these pastdays, getting to know you, seeing how you care for your people, how you’ve tried to make me comfortable…” I met his eyes. “I want you to know that I’m not unhappy. That this arrangement has become more than I expected.”
His expression blazed, achingly hopeful.
Neither of us was brave enough to name what was building between us, but both recognized its presence.
