The words felt brittle, fragile enough that even saying them out loud made me flinch. Because the truth was, when he’d kissed me back, there had been nothing political about it.
My fingers curled in my lap. I could still feel the way his hand had steadied me, the sharp intake of his breath against my cheek, and the impossible warmth of his body. Kieran was supposed to be all cold edges and self-control, a man carved out of midnight. Yet for those few seconds, he’d been alive.
And I’d felt it.
Fates, what had I done?
My magic buzzed under my skin like honeybees drunk on summer blossoms. It had never responded to anyone the way it did to him. Not that I’d tell him that.
The truth was, Kieran could act as cold and distant as he wanted, but our magic remembered what our hearts were trying to forget. His shadows had curled toward my light like they were starving for it. Six years of separation, and still, our magic recognized its other half.
That was what terrified me most. Not his crown or his court or even his stubborn, infuriating pride, but the way my entire being lit up when he was near.
Rising, I made myself stride to the formal dining room. My next performance awaited me.
I hadn’t realized how vast the dining room was until I had to walk the entire length of it alone. The vaulted ceiling soared high above, inlaid with dark glass that reflected every flicker of light. A massive table stretched from one end to the other, lined with nobles, advisors, and Kieran’s various relatives. Their conversations stilled as I entered, and dozens of crimson eyes turned toward me.
It was like walking into a nest of very polite, very judgmental bats.
I pasted on a smile, the kind that saidI dare you to start something.
“Your Majesty,” Lord Rathley called out, his voice as scratchy as sand. “How…spirited you looked this evening.”
“Thank you,” I said. “I felt the need to brighten the place a bit.”
A murmur rippled through the table, amusement tinged with shock. I could almost feel Cordelia’s invisible applause behind me.
I took my seat at the end of the table, finding Kieran’s seat conspicuously empty. A hollow ache settled under my ribs. I told myself it was relief.
It was ridiculous to miss someone, the person who’d left me without a word six years ago. He’d married me for politics and power.
Yet I missed him with an intensity that made my chest ache. Not the man who ruled this court, but the man I’d glimpsed again this afternoon when hiscontrol fractured. The man whose kiss had tasted like coming home after being lost for years.
Kieran’s uncle Prentiss cleared his throat. “The king sends his regrets?”
“He’s attending to state matters,” I said. “As am I.”
A young woman to my right leaned closer, the scent of crushed leaves wafting from her gown. “It must besostrange for you, Your Majesty. Adjusting to our customs. It’s much darker here, isn’t it?”
Her tone came out light, but her eyes shot daggers.
“I prefer to think of it as ambiance.”
“I hear your kind needs sunlight to thrive,” a man dressed in a starched suit said from across the table. “How inconvenient for a queen of our realm.”
Cordelia tutted in outrage.Smile, dear. Always smile. It unsettles predators.
I obeyed, though barely.
“Oh, I get by,” I said. “I’m quite resourceful. I generate my own light.”
That earned a few nervous laughs.
Madeline tittered behind her hand. “We certainly noticed. Quite a display in the courtyard. Tell me, did the rainbow signify anything? Was it a fertility omen, perhaps?”
My hand trembled on the table.
“Don’t take the bait,” Cordelia said from behind my left shoulder. “Float above it, like me.”
