And in a few short days, I was supposed to leave.
How had I let this happen? It would be wrong to dream of a future I couldn’t claim as my own.
But as we approached the town square where our tree would soon stand, decorated and beautiful and bringing joy to everyone who saw it, I couldn’t bring myself to regret it.
Even if loving Becken was the most dangerous thing I’d ever done.
Even if it meant my heart was going to shatter when I drove away.
Chapter 17
Becken
Later that night, I stood in the town square surrounded by the entire community, watching our perfect Christmas tree come to life with hundreds of twinkling lights.
I’d spent the day hiding. Not quite, but avoiding Carla. She’d come to the barn. I’d heard her talking to Azool and Peeka. I could’ve left the hay loft and joined her, but I wasn’t sure what to say.
What could I tell her? That I was falling for her, but it felt like betraying Wexla's memory. That I wanted her to stay but couldn't force the words out. That every time I looked at her, I felt something I thought I’d buried with my first mate.
Wexla would’ve loved Carla’s laugh, her joy in simple traditions. The guilt I’d carried was lifting, replaced by the fear that asking Carla to stay would mean asking her to sacrifice everything she’d worked for.
I couldn’t do something like that to the woman I was starting to love.
Carla stood beside me, gazing up at the pine we’d chosen together.
“It’s pretty,” she whispered, her voice filled with wonder.
The tree stood in the center of the square, the star at the top gleaming in the street lamps. Children pointed, their faces bright with excitement. Couples held hands and smiled at each other. Families gathered closer together, sharing the magic of this moment.
“Five, four, three, two, one,” the crowd chanted, and Dungar threw the switch that brought our tree fully to life.
The square erupted in cheers and applause. Carla bounced on her toes beside me, clapping, and my heart clenched at the sight of her. She’d spent her entire life dreaming about being part of a real Christmas celebration, surrounded by people who cared about her.
Aunt Inla beamed from across the square, wearing a red velvet dress that made her look like the spirit of Christmas herself. Holly and Sel stood with Max, who was taking pictures with his phone to show his friends at school. Jessi had tears in her eyes as she watched the tree sparkle, and even Grannie Lil looked emotional as she leaned on her cane.
My cousins clustered around us with their mates, creating a circle of found family that had become the center of my world. Ostor had his arm around Rosey, both of them grinning at the lights. Tark stood with Gracie, pointing out different ornaments to her while she nodded. Ruugar held Beth protectively, her pregnancy showing beneath her winter coat. Hail and Allie whispered to each other, their heads bent together in intimate conversation.
And Carla stood beside me, a part of this circle as naturally as if she’d been born to it.
For the first time since leaving the orc kingdom, the restless ache in my chest had quieted. This strange surface world with its bright lights and odd traditions had somehow become home.
I wanted to pull Carla closer, wrap my arms around her, claim her in front of everyone who mattered. I wanted towhisper in her ear that this was our tree, our community, our life together. I wanted her to look at me with the same wonder she showed the Christmas lights and tell me she never wanted to leave.
But I couldn’t find the right words, and I was afraid I’d grumble and growl my way through them. That would truly drive her away.
I was placing all my hope on my Christmas morning surprise.
Staring up at the star crowning our tree, I made a desperate, silent wish. If Christmas miracles existed, if there was any magic in this season she loved so much, please let her choose to stay. Please let her love me the way I’d fallen in love with her.
“Becken?” Carla asked. “Are you alright?”
“Yes, I am.” I gave her a smile I hoped didn’t show everything blazing in my heart. The last thing I wanted was her pity. “Just thinking.”
“About what?”
“The parade,” I said instead. “Making sure we’re ready.”
She studied my face before she smiled and bumped my arm with her shoulder. “We’ll be ready. We make a good team.”
