Instead, I busied myself arranging clay tools and cutting mounds for the demonstration, giving her a moment to compose herself. Each time I saw the golden mark on my wrist, it reminded me that my mate was hurting, and I couldn’t do anything about it. Not yet.
“You know,” I finally said, not looking her way. “I find your honesty about being dishonest kind of charming.”
She let out a shaky laugh. “That’s probably the weirdest compliment I’ve ever gotten.”
“I’m g-g-good at weird compliments. It’s a gift.” I set down a pottery knife and turned to face her fully. “Most people would have kept lying, dug-dug…themselves deeper. You stopped and told the truth.”
“Even though it made me look awful?”
“Especially because it made you look awful.” When she raised an eyebrow, I tried to explain. “Perfect people are…intimidating. Hard to trust. But someone who admits they m-m-messed up? That’s someone I can work with.”
That got a real smile out of her. The sight of her relaxing made the tightness in my chest ease as well.
“So about the rodeo thing…”
“My cousin, Becken, has taken over all-all-all the rodeo planning,” I said, not wanting her to feel guilty about the lie. “This frees me up to focus on pottery full-time, which is honestly a…relief. Organizational stuff isn’t my strength. But if you really want to help with the rodeo, I could intro-intro-introduce you two.”
She was already shaking her head before I finished talking. “No, I’d rather stay here and work in the pottery barn if you still want me.”
The relief that shot through me was probably embarrassing in its intensity. The mate bond hummed with satisfaction, recognizing that she wanted to stay close. “I do want you here.” My voice dropped off. “Very much.”
“Even though I lied about having rodeo experience?”
“Especially because you lied about having rodeo experience.” When she looked confused, I searched for the right words. “You’re not perfect, Allie. That somehow makes you more…more perfect.”
“I’m not sure I know what you mean.”
“It doesn’t have to make sense. It’s just true.” I picked up a piece of clay and began kneading it, the familiar texture helping me think. “Perfect people don’t need anyone. They’re complete on their own. But people with flaws, people who make mistakes, need com-com-community. They need someone to help them, to forgive them, to see past the imperfections to what’s under…neath.”
She studied my face like she was trying to figure out if I was serious. “You’re a strange man, Hail.”
“Orc,” I corrected automatically.
“Strange orc, then.”
We stood there smiling at each other, and I felt something shift between us. Some invisible barrier had come down when she’d admitted to lying, when I’d told her it didn’t matter. The air between us felt different now. One might even say it was charged with possibility.
“Can I ask you something?” I asked.
“Sure.”
“Why did you feel you needed to impress us? My fam-family, I mean.”
She was quiet for so long I thought she might not answer. She walked over to one of the pottery wheels and traced the rim with her finger, not meeting my eyes.
When she finally spoke, her voice came out soft. “Because you’re all so together. You’ve built this amazing thing here, and everyone has their place in it. Your brothers have their businesses, their mates, their roles in the community. Even Becken, who just arrived, already has something important to do.” She looked up at me then. “I guess I wanted to have a place too.”
“You do have a place.”
“Do I? I’ve been here three days, Hail. I’m nobody special.”
If only she knew how special she was, how the universe itself had marked her as mine. But I couldn’t tell her that. I might never be able to tell her that. And while that gave me a bleak feeling, I accepted it. I’d never believed I’d find love or a mate or have a family beyond my brothers. I’d resigned myself to being an amazing uncle. I’d thought that would be enough.
But now that I’d met Allie, I found myself dreaming of someone to share my life with, someone to love.
I wasn’t sure I dared try to cling to that dream. I should push it aside, let it go, and focus on making a friend. If the fates had anything else in store for me, it would happen, right?
“You’re wrong about that,” I finally said.
