“I need to go outside,” I told him.
He nodded, looking relieved to be getting rid of me.I was barely breathing down his neck.Did I have him working with glass tubes instead of metal?Yes, but sheesh.
My dad was sitting on the bench outside the hot shop door.“Hello, daughter.How are you feeling today?”He patted the seat beside him.
“Hey, Pops.”I sat and looked up at him, grinning at his look of consternation.He clearly wasn’t sure if he should protest this new moniker.“I’m okay.I’ve been working in the hot shop.”
Nodding, he touched my cheek, and the heat and sweat disappeared.“I said I would teach you how to experience your visions more safely.”
“Yes, please,” I said, sitting up straight.“Last night, I had a black eye that took forever to fade.”His expression turned outraged, so I plowed on.“I tried to pull myself away, to see it from above like you said, but it didn’t work.”
Jaw clenched, he stared out at the ocean.“If I hadn’t been forbidden from training you, I could have taught you this long ago.”
I took one of his huge hands into both of my gloved ones.“I’m glad we know each other now.All my life, I’ve wondered about my father.Now, I get to sit on my deck, talking with my dad.You’ll never understand what an incredible gift that is for me.”
Turning, he met my gaze.“I understand quite well.”He scratched his jaw with his free hand.“I should do this the proper way, but my gifted daughter bearing bruises has me impatient.So.”He looked down at my hands and the gloves disappeared.
He took both my hands in both of his.“Ah, I see.”
I felt a charge run through my body before a bright light flashed in my head.
“You’ve spent so many years fighting the visions, you created a kind of mental wall.It’s a wall you sometimes get trapped on the other side of.I’ve made your wall more porous.”
I’m sure I had a horrified look on my face because he patted my hand.“Now, now,” he said.“Nothing to worry about.My daughter is gifted and will soon learn to ignore the thoughts of others.”
That made me flinch.“Wait.Will I hear thoughts again without touching people?”I felt the tears well up in my eyes.“I worked so hard for so long to block them.I don’t want to hear people’s thoughts.It’s too much to take on.”
“You don’t take them on,” he said.“You don’t acknowledge them.I told you before.It’s like being in a crowded restaurant.You need to retrain your brain to treat the thoughts like white noise.It’s there.If you wanted to listen, you could, but it stays relegated to background noise.”
I knew this was a gift, that he thought of it as a gift.For me, though, it was punishment.I saw my whole horrible childhood rushing back to pummel me once more.
He stood abruptly and walked to the railing.“I am not punishing you!I am trying to keep you from being hurt in visions.Will it be hard at first?Probably, but this is how we learn and become stronger.”
Drowning in despair, I nodded.I’d spent so many years alone in my room, hiding from the voices, and now they were back.My life had finally changed once I’d learned to block them out.I had friends.Hell, I’d opened a gallery that was regularly filled with people.Now, it would all be torture again.I felt the tears drop as I stared into my lap.
My head pounded.Oh, Goddess, I’d forgotten about all the headaches that used to plague me.I heard grumbling in the studio and knew Bud was pissed off about working on the light fixture when he had construction work to do.Damn it.
I stood and went to the studio back door.Opening it, I heard the unspoken complaints even louder.“Bud?”I waved him out.“Sorry.I know you have your own work to do.Never mind about this.I’ll figure it out later.”
“I’ve almost got it,” he rumbled.“The housing doesn’t fit cleanly in this cover you’ve made.I don’t want to break the glass, so I’m bending the metal.”His tone was polite, but I heard the frustration underneath, the annoyance at having to work with such delicate materials.
Years of working to block ugly thoughts had been ripped away.My chest hurt.I waved him out again.“Don’t worry about it.It’s my problem.I’ll do it or I won’t.Either way, it’s on me.Thank you anyway.”
He stared at me a moment, his brow furrowed.“I didn’t mean to make you cry.I can do this.”He sounded concerned, and maybe he was, but he was mostly worried that I’d complain to Kenji about this and he’d lose his job.He needed this job.
I closed my eyes, trying to erect that wall again, but it didn’t work.“I’m not feeling well,” I told him.“It would be better if you went back to the construction job.Thank you for everything you’ve done here.”
“Oh, okay.”He stood and walked past me out the door.He was happy to get back to what he was supposed to be doing, but also thought I was kind of hot.Too bad I was hooked up with the Alpha.It was hard to tell in the overalls, but it looked like I had great tits.He wasn’t looking to piss off a werewolf.Still…
I closed the door after him, flicked my fingers to bring down the metal shutters along the back of the building, and slowly trudged up the stairs to my old bedroom to cry.
TWENTY-SEVEN
Ghost Stories
Curled up in bed, crying in the dark, felt more familiar than I wanted to admit.I didn’t know how long my father waited for me to return.He was a busy guy, so probably not long.I knew he expected me to thank him, but I couldn’t.I also knew he was an all-powerful fae being who didn’t really understand how what he did would destroy me.I understood.I did.It didn’t help the misery I was drowning in, though.
Crying was exhausting, so eventually I nodded off.
