“I fell in love with her, and I think she softened to me. Weeks later, at the full moon—not that that meant anything at the time—she got sick. There were only two servants in the house with her, but both were doing their best to take care of her. She was feverish and sick to her stomach. She didn’t want me to see her, but I kept close in case I needed to visit an apothecary.”
Staring into the flames, he seemed lost in the memory. “I heard a shout and a scream. I ran into the house and saw a huge wolf break through the back door. I ran up the stairs, looking for Ilona, and found her servants dead on the ground, their throats ripped out.”
I covered my mouth. I knew what it was to change all alone with no idea what was happening. Thankfully, I hadn’t hurt anyone. I didn’t know how I’d have lived with myself if I had.
“Her bed was empty, the sheets ripped. I’d thought she’d been taken by the wolf, strange as that would have been, so I ran out into the woods to look for her. For hours, I tracked the wolf, trying to find Ilona.
“Eventually, I found it in a clearing and made to kill it. It was behaving oddly, though. It just sat under a tree, watching me. When I got close, it raised the side of its lip and growled, but it was half-hearted at best. It was the eyes that got me. The color was lighter, but the intelligence was Ilona’s.”
“Yes,” Clive said. “Sam’s eyes lighten to gold, but they’re her eyes. I still see her in them.”
I didn’t know that.
“I hadn’t believed such things existed, but there she was, staring at me. I said her name and she came to her feet, backing away. She bumped into the tree behind her, yipped, and ran off again.”
“It’s terrifying,” I said. “Changing for the first time with no warning, no understanding of what’s happening.” I tightened my arms, wrapped around my legs. “I thought I was going crazy. Everything looked and smelled different. I kept tripping because I couldn’t get my brain to understand I had four legs.”
A shiver went through me. “I thought it was a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from. And I hadn’t killed anyone, hadn’t had the scent and taste of blood on me. The poor thing was probably in shock.”
Vlad had turned his attention from the fire while I spoke. He nodded. “That was what I thought too. I’d seen young men in war after they’d killed for the first time. Eyes huge. Body trembling.”
“Yes,” Clive agreed. “The enormity of taking another’s life, of not only cutting off their potential, but that of everyone connected to that person, everyone who might have come after that person. It can drop a man to his knees.”
Vlad studied Clive a moment. “I know your reputation. You’ve killed countless numbers over the centuries, but I would guess that you were the one on your knees after your first kill.”
Clive went back to tapping and scrolling. “It was so long ago. Who remembers?”
The corner of Vlad’s mustache lifted.
“I went back to the house and waited for her to return. Midmorning, she came out of the woods, dazed and naked. I gave her my coat and took her in to clean and tend to.” He shook his head. “There are no manuals.”
Clive chuffed out a laugh. “Sam is annoyed by that as well.”
“I mean, if you’re part of a pack, okay,” I said. “There are others who can guide you, but if you’re all alone?” I threw my hands up. “It’s a life of trial and error.”
“Yes,” Vlad said, “but we figured it out together. We married?—”
“Did you bribe or threaten her dad?” I asked.
He smiled that scary smile again. “Guess. I bought a large parcel of wooded property and had a house built. Once a month, she had a safe area to run in and hunt. I made it far enough away from her family that they rarely visited.”
Pausing, he stared into the fire again. “We were happy.” He scratched his jaw. “First time in my life I was happy. It lasted a little over a year. I was called back for another battle. I had to leave Ilona. That was the battle where I was mortally wounded.
“As I laid bleeding on the field, I wished only to see Ilona one last time. That was when the vampires came, feeding from those of us on the edge of death. The one who changed me knew who I was, said I was quite the prize.”
He looked inward a moment. “I believe he thought he was getting a guard dog.”
“Idiot,” Clive murmured.
Nodding, Vlad said, “It was his last stupid decision. Clearly, he did not know me. I handed him his final death and raced home to Ilona. When I returned, though, Ilona wasn’t there. It was the night after the full moon. Our servants were beside themselves with worry. They’d told me Ilona hadn’t been in her room that morning. I assumed she’d slept in the woods, but they said they hadn’t seen her all day.
“I went out looking. Her trail was easy to follow in this new form of mine. I tracked her to a clearing. There was a lot of blood and the scent of two men. I tracked them to a tavern in the village center, telling stories to all assembled of the huge wolf they’d tracked and killed.”
“No,” I whispered.
“The short version is I killed everyone in the tavern and found Ilona’s wolf dropped on the floor behind the bastards poaching on my land. I brought her home and buried her in the garden beneath our bedroom window.”
“I’m so sorry,” I said.
