“I promise.” It was an easy promise to make. I’d seen what was down here and it scared me more than aroused me. I only felt safe coming back because I knew I could trust Alfie.
He led me down into the underworld but took me a different route to the one I’d been to before. The room he led me into looked oddly cosy, like a medieval bedroom.
“Are we being watched?” I asked, pointing at the cameras. I knew that the Onyx rooms were the only part of the cub that had CCTV.
“No. Usually they would stay on for safety reasons but they’ve switched them off for me. Damien will check in personally in a few hours to make sure you’re okay. Don’t worry, he’s just going to call me. I won’t let him see anything.”
“Right. Okay.” I suddenly felt deeply self-conscious. Should I just strip off right now? What did he expect? What if I didn’t enjoy what he did to me?
He surprised me by pulling me into a hug. I leaned against his chest breathing him in until our heartbeats synched together.
“We’re breaking new ground tonight. I need you to listen, I need you to communicate. I need you to stay present. I need you to remember a safeword.”
“Safeword? We didn’t need one before.”
“We will tonight. I’ve chosen Harrington.”
“Harrington?” I repeated.
“Harrington. I’m going to push you hard. The second you want it to stop, you say the safeword and it stops. I need you to promise that you won't force yourself to do something you don’t want to do just to make me happy. Do you promise?”
“I promise.”
“Asking me to stop won’t disappoint me, do you understand?”
“I understand.” I was breathless, so breathless I felt almost dizzy. “I’m nervous.”
“I’m not.” He sounded so sure of himself that I felt myself relax. “I’m going to teach your body, your nervous system, every part of you that I’ve hurt, that you can trust me again.” He pulled me in for a deep kiss, leaving me shaking when he pulled away. “Now, let’s begin.”
Nineteen
When I’d told Alfie I didn’t want to think this weekend, I hadn't anticipated being back at the club, tied to a table while my fiance explained the benefits of using hemp rope.
I wasn’t listening. I was transfixed, watching his mouth move. I was hyper aware that I was naked, in a houseful of strangers. The door was locked, the room was sound proof, but I knew they were out there.
I wished he’d take off his shirt. His jacket and tie lay neatly folded over the back of an highbacked armchair. His cuff links sat on the dresser. His shirt sleeves were rolled over. A person's forearms shouldn’t be this tantalising.
This room was designed for sex. I couldn’t tell at first. But now, everywhere I looked, I could see a loop or carabiner to hang someone from, drawers that contained who knew what, bottles filled with oil and lotion. The light was dimmed, shadows from candle light flickered on the deep green wallpaper. There was a four poster bed behind me, a green leather couch by the drape-framed windows.
He’d chosen the table for me. I’d stood, frozen on the spot as he undressed me, explaining carefully what each of the items on the table were for and how he was going to use them on me.He wanted me to know, he needed me to trust, he needed me to consent.
I didn’t fight as he stripped me of the pink gown he’d bought for me to wear tonight. It now hung from a hanger on the hat stand like a shedded skin.
I knelt on the table, knees right at the edge, hands folded together. There was a metal hoop at the edge of the table and my hands were tied securely to it. Simple knots were tied around my knees too, forcing me to remain in a kneeling position. I couldn’t get down, couldn’t move. I was trapped, sitting on a Sybian that any moment would start vibrating between my legs. It was terrifying and exhilarating. Putting my entire trust in a man who had broken it so many times before.
The items were laid out next to me, waiting their turn. He picked up the clamps first. One of the many tools he was going to use on me. The rope, the Sybian, the plug still inside me. I wondered when it was going to be too much.
“Remember this isn’t a punishment. I want to find out how well you can control yourself, how well you can stay focused on me, no matter what else you’re feeling.”
My nipples were already hard but he gave them a pinch anyway. I held my breath.
“Lola, breathe. Don’t close your eyes. Watch what I'm doing to you, engage with it.”
I released my breath and watched as he attached the clamps. I whimpered, they hurt more than the cufflinks. They had very small hoops attached, looking almost as if I’d had my nipples pierced.
“These were the gentlest ones I could find.”
“They still hurt.”
