“I don’t understand,” I muttered. I never would understand it. His family sounded like aliens. Creatures that I could never relate to.
“They’re narcissists, Lola. Sociopathic. They lack empathy and mock compassion. That’s why they turned on me. I cared too much and my father found it embarrassing, Charles liked to exploit it and my mother, she just didn’t care.”
“What about Grace?” To me, she was the forgotten Tell. Charles, his father, his mother, their damage had taken up so much of our lives that there hadn’t been room to talk about Grace. I’d looked her up online and seen pictures of her. She was gorgeous of course, a statuesque heiress. She was a wedding dress designer and married to a man named Ethan. Her social media was purely business though, no personal photos, so it was difficult to figure out what kind of person she was. The only photos I could find of her and Alfie together were staged family photos from their childhood.
“I barely know her, I suppose. She’s always been cold, like my mother. I expect she’s just like her.”
“But you don’t know? She has her own business, right? How come?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why does she work when she doesn’t have to? If she’s just like your mother, I mean.” He didn’t answer me. I realised Grace was an empty space he’d never given himself room to think about. “Nevermind, we don’t have to talk about her tonight. One complicated family member at a time.”
His lips rested over mine, gentle, intimate. I shivered as his fingertips trailed over my arms, up to my shoulders where he began to massage me. I stifled a huff when he pulled away.
“I don’t want to talk drama anymore, Lo. What would make you happy this weekend? Do you want to think or not think?”
I settled against him, wishing I could sink into his skin. “Not think please.”
“I can do that.”
Eighteen
When Alfie said he could distract me, he’d certainly meant it. It was very hard to worry about anything else when I had a certain something in a certain place that nothing had ever been before.
‘I want to try something new with you tonight. I want to claim a part of your body you haven’t given to me yet. Do you trust me?’
I’d told him that I did and I’d meant it when I said it, I just hadn’t planned on him presenting me with a type of toy that was meant for a part of the body that I’d never explored before.
I’d been scared, but he’d been so gentle, so patient with me and I…I was curious. I wanted to explore every part of myself with him and every part of him too. I wanted to watch him show off what he could do.
I felt each bump in the road as we drove down the long driveway to the club. I felt Alfie’s eyes on me too, checking I was still okay.
I stepped out of the car as carefully as I could. He’d assured me it wouldn’t fall out but that didn’t stop me worrying.
Club members were milling around and of course, their eyes were drawn to their club’s namesake. I found myself worryingabout bumping into Julia even though Alife had already told me that her membership had been revoked. Damien didn’t fuck around about security I guess.
Alfie snaked his arm around my waist as Elliot drove away. “Before we go in, how do you feel about us having some company?” My eyes widened. We absolutely hadn’t agreed to anything like that. Alfie laughed at the look on my face. “I don’t mean like that. I mean, my Tellers are here, they want to see you. Would you be happy to have a drink with them first?”
First. Before he took me down to the Onyx rooms and did things to my body that I couldn't even begin to imagine. He’d said that I was ready now and I was trying to trust that he was right.
My first instinct was to say no, I was already nervous enough, but from the look in his eye, he wanted me to say yes. He wanted them to know me and he wanted to see his friends.
“Um okay. I should…go to the bathroom first?”
He cocked his head, a playful grin curving his beautiful mouth. “Why?”
I was going to kill him.
He dipped his head, lowering his voice so his breath tickled my neck. “They won’t see anything, Lo. I would never allow it. I know you’re not an exhibitionist but you do like an element of danger. You came so hard the last time we were here and that couple were fucking on the other side of the wall.” He straightened, giving me a second to breathe. “It’s up to you, I’m just trying to open you up to yourself.”
“Okay,” I said, gathering my courage. He raised his eyebrows. “Okay, let's go.”
Inside, he led me to a room on the third floor. I entered a darkened room and felt like I’d stepped back in time to a 1920’s speakeasy. It smelled of patchouli and whiskey and expensiveperfume. On stage were a group of ladies performing a fan dance to an entranced audience.
At the back of the room, in a roped off area, were Alfie’s friends. The four of them sprawled around a table like a renaissance painting. I imagined them as younger, arrogant playboys enjoying everything that this playland they’d built had to offer. Now, these men were older, more established, more skilled and this was where they came to unwind from their daily life.
Cas, the man I knew the least, was watching the dancers with a blissful smile on his face. He adored women, you could tell.
