With his free hand, he guided himself to my entrance, angling my body enough to give him access. He entered slowly, filling me up in one smooth motion. I shuddered against him.
He held me bent, the blood rushing to the tips of my breasts, causing me to moan all over again as they swayed with each thrust. With one hand on the rope and the other on my shoulder, he took me.
It should have been dirty but it was so deeply erotic, so full of love and adoration. Now I understood why Alfie had laughed when I’d called this a kink. This didn’t feel like a kink. This felt like us connecting on the deepest level we could.
When he was close, he pulled me closer. Lifting me up so he could bite my neck. I stayed still, not wanting to fall. My core clenched around him, pulling the seed from him as he finally came. It was beautiful. It was perfect and even trembling with pleasure, he hadn’t let me fall.
As the heady waves began to recede, I became more aware of the soreness of my body. He released me before I could ask. He’d been right when he’d said that he’d know I’d had enough before I did.
The ropes had taken so long to put on but came away so fast. He removed the cufflinks and kissed both nipples gently. Then he sat down in his tux trousers and pulled me into his lap.
I didn’t know how long we sat there for, on the floor of this man-made jungle, the moonlight beaming through the glass. Slowly, we came back to earth together and waiting for us both was reality. The reality of why we were here at all. Because of what he’d done to me and the damage he’d done to both of us.
“Never again, Alfie,” I whispered. “You can’t ever hurt me like that again.”
“Never. I promise.” He pressed a kiss to my temple.
“I don’t need to do this again.” I hadn’t meant to say that but as soon as I did, I knew it was true. “You wanted to do this to teach me to trust you. But I already do. I just needed a reminder. I don’t need you to do this to me again.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Alright. But do youwantme to do this again?”
I thought about it, then snuggled in closer to the man I loved. “Ask me again when I get the feeling back in my legs.”
Eleven
My body hummed, singing the sweet sex song Alfie had taught it the night before. If I kept my eyes shut, I could feel his tongue on my neck, the grip of his hands on my thighs. He’d taken me to erotic heights before but last night had been something else.
Now, I was alone in bed. It wasn’t like Alfie to leave me to wake by myself after an event like last night. There was no note, no message on my phone. Something must have happened at work. I’d gotten used to our Sundays being dominated by his work and I started thinking of ways I could pry him away from his desk this afternoon.
I brushed my teeth and hair, studying myself in the mirror the whole time. I expected to look different. I felt different. Something about what we’d done last night had changed me. I felt more certain of us now. Or rather, more certain ofhim.
I contemplated a shower but decided I wanted Alfie on my body a little longer. I wasn’t ready to wash him away just yet. I even pulled on one of his shirts to wear instead of my own.
My wrists were still red from the rope but they didn’t hurt. I noticed my bare ring finger more and more every day but it bothered me today more than it usually did. After a minute ofgoing back and forth with my conscience, I decided to go with my gut.
I went to Alfie’s office expecting to find him there but it was empty. I pulled back the painting revealing his safe and typed in the code. My engagement ring was in a blue, velvet box right where I’d watched Alfie put it months ago, shoulders sagging and heart crushed after I’d told him I wasn’t ready to wear it yet.
The night we’d reunited, he’d said he didn’t want me to wear this particular ring. He wanted a new one. One that didn’t remind him of the first time he’d proposed to me years ago in the Evergarden. But I disagreed. This ring was a sign to me that even in his darkest days, he’d still tried to love me as best he could. He could have bought me the most ostentatious ring he could find, instead, he’d chosen this.
I sat cross-legged on the floor, studying it. It was the most beautiful piece of jewellery I’d ever seen. An elegant diamond in the shape of a bleeding heart.
I’d never worn it before. Not once. But I knew it would fit perfectly and I was right. It slid onto my finger like it belonged there. I stared at it, my heart beating so fast in my chest. I’d expected it to feel heavy but it didn’t. It felt right.
I was startled by the sound of raised voices. This house was so quiet, any kind of noise was a surprise. I crept to the door, eavesdropping on the voice that was unmistakably Alfie’s.
I followed his voice down the hall and found my man talking to a woman so elegant she looked to be carved out of marble. Her hair was a soft blond pulled into a flawless chignon. She wore a cream shift dress and wrap, the material so rich it would never dare crease. Her skin showed faint signs of her age, lines around her eyes, lips thinner than they had been thirty years ago. She had grey eyes that were identical to my Alfie’s. I knew immediately who this woman was.
She looked me up and down, assessing me the way I had assessed her. From my messy hair to the bruises on my knees from working all week. I fought the urge to tug Alfie’s t-shirt down. At least I’d had the foresight to put underwear on this morning.
“Hello,” I said, breaking the ice, “I’m Lola. You must be Alfie’s mother? Please, forgive my outfit, I didn’t know you were coming.” I slipped my hand into Alfie’s and pressed myself to his side. I could feel the tension emanating from him. His mouth was tight, his eyes cold. He was in business-Alfie mode. The first Alfie I’d ever met.
“Carolyn Tell,” she answered, speaking as if she was trying to save her face from wrinkles. “Forgive the impromptu visit. I needed to have a conversation with my son. You’ll excuse us.”
I arched an eyebrow at her inviting me to leave, but I said nothing. Instead I looked up at Alfie, silently asking him what he wanted me to do. I knew what I wanted to do, but this was Alfie’s family. It was his call.
“Actually, as I was saying, now isn’t the best time. If you’d like we could have lunch this week to discuss whatever it is that you need to discuss with me.” He didn’t want me to leave and he definitely didn’t want her to stay. I placed my free hand on his arm, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
Her sharp gaze landed on my hand and I realised too late what she was staring at. The fucking engagement ring. I’d forgotten to take it off. I dropped my hand to my side but the damage was done.
