“I want to tell you something I’ve realised this week. I think I’m really afraid to get married without my mum. Do you think I’m being silly?”
“I think it’s only silly it’s taken you this long to figure that out.” He wrapped his arms closer around me, pulling me tight to his chest. “She’ll be there.”
I supposed she would, but not in the way that I needed. “I don’t want to do wedding stuff without her.”
“Then don’t. We’ll pay someone else to do it. You can just show up, say the vows and kiss me. Don’t worry about anything else.”
“I’ll need to pick out a wedding dress.” I couldn’t imagine paying someone else to do that. I knew his sister was a wedding dress designer but I wasn’t about to bring that up.
“Yes.” He was quiet for a moment. The cogs of his beautiful brain turning over. “I could pick it out for you. I’m good at choosing your clothes.”
I chuckled. “Yeah, I’m sure you’d love to spend hours looking at wedding dresses.”
He fell silent again. “I might have spent some time looking already.”
“What?” I looked up at him. “Why?”
He shrugged, looking a little sheepish. “I like picturing you wearing them.”
I shook my head, my heart melting like butter. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Some might say romantic.”
“Ridiculously romantic. And I’m ridiculously in love with you.” My lips brushed over his, just a featherlight touch. “But I’ll deal with the dress situation myself, so it can be a surprise for you. I want to keep the wedding small though. Can we?”
“We can have it however you like.”
“Alright. Soon then. We’ll announce it soon. I don’t want to rain on Natalie and Riley’s parade just yet.”
“Fuck them. We were engaged first.”
I laughed. “That logic only works in the school yard, Alfie.”
“Fine. But soon?”
“Soon,” I told him. “I promise.”
Eight
The next night, I gazed at myself in the mirror, finding it hard to believe that was really me in the reflection. The dress was beautiful. Of course it was. Alfie had never bought a single thing for me that wasn't. It was made of fine silk and a deep emerald green that complimented my hair, which was unruly as usual. I didn’t know what to do with it.
My stomach jangled with nerves.
The Never Tell Club was an exciting but overwhelming place and tonight Alfie was going to do things to me I’d never done before.
I ran my sweaty palms under cold water and dried them off.
Get it together, Lola.
I returned to my walk-in wardrobe where I’d found my dress hanging up for me. I’d spent some time today unpacking my things, my clothes looked out of place in the plush cream and pink of the dressing room.
I stared at myself in the mirror, turning this way and that. I was trying to instil a bit of confidence in myself but it wasn’t working. No matter which way I looked at myself, I was still a girl who didn’t fit into the society I was stepping into. My old, ripped jeans sat on a shelf, laughing at me in my Versace dress.
My hands returned to my hair, desperately trying to turn it into an elegant style. Keira would know how to do it.
“Leave your hair alone.”
I jumped at the sound of Alfie’s voice. He leaned against the door frame, watching.
