The wedding cake tree seemed to judge me, judge the blank space on my finger where my engagement ring should be. Not for the first time, I wondered what my mum would make of all of this.
More than anything, I always wanted to make her proud. The thought that she might not approve had been gnawing away at me for a while.
“He’s a good man, mum. It just took him a while to know that,” I whispered. This garden had heard every muttered secret uttered to my mothers memory. If these plants could talk…
“And he loves me. He won’t leave me. Not ever.” I chuckled. “I think you’d have to pry me out of his cold, dead hands before he’d let me go. Maybe that’s why his possessiveness isn’t a deal breaker for me. It’s comforting to know he’ll never leave me likedad did.” My voice cracked. I didn’t know where these words about my father had come from. I hadn’t even been thinking about him. But this is why I came here to talk. It had always been a place of meditation, a place for me to talk out my thoughts and make sense of a problem. Apparently, my father was playing a bigger part in my worries than I’d realised.
“It makes me angry that the wrong parent died,” I muttered. “It should have been him and not you. I wish you were here now. I don’t know how I’m going to pick out a wedding dress without you.” I rubbed my eyes. I couldn’t start sobbing now when dinner was almost ready. “Maybe that’s why I don’t want to marry yet. I don’t want to do any of this without you.”
Had Alfie figured that out already? Probably. He always seemed to know everything in my head before I knew it myself. If his businesses ever failed, that man should set himself up as a damn psychic.
Before I could spiral down the wedding day drain any further, there was a loud bang on the gate that I recognised as Ryan's knock. “Auntie Lo! Dinner is ready!”
I cleared my throat, wiped my face, and headed inside.
This wasn’t the first time I’d sat around this table with our new family member but still, getting used to Riley was an adjustment. He was a third my colleague, a third Alfie’s friend and now a third my family. If it was strange for him though, he wasn’t showing it.
“So, when do you start filming?” Riley asked after finally getting Ryan to sit still long enough to eat.
“Not until Monday. Tomorrow is when I get started on building the first of the four projects. I'll meet the producer and some of the crew this week, but the contestants aren't arriving until the weekend.”
“Are they staying at Harrington with you?” Natalie asked.
“No,” Riley answered for me. “Alfie wouldn't allow that with the house not being finished yet.”
“Right. They'll film an episode a week and each episode takes two or three days to film. The contestants will travel down for filming, stay somewhere in the village and go back home when it's done. I think that's the plan anyway.”
“But you'll stay here for the whole month?” Natalie asked.
“Yes, but I'll be back in London on the weekends to see Alfie.”
“And how is everything going with the two of you?” There was a faint edge in her voice as there always was when she asked about Alfie.
“It's going,” I answered, trying not to blush as I remembered the noises he’d drawn out of me last night. “He’s in Paris right now, I’m not really sure why. He doesn’t like to talk about work.”
“But he’s supportive of you being gone all week?” Her smile was pinched with concern.
“Yes. I mean, he doesn’t like it but he knows how much this means to me. He’s proud of me.”
Natalie nodded and I noticed Riley gave her hand a squeeze. Apparently her concern about Alfie going back to his old behaviour was a shared worry between them. I made a mental note to communicate with her more often, I didn’t want her to worry. I made a second mental note to remember this as another reason why it was smart to wait a while longer to announce our engagement.
“So, um…changing the subject a little…” Natalie said. I looked up to see her and Riley wearing matching cheshire-cat grins. “We have an announcement.”
“Are we telling her now?” Ryan asked. Natalie gave him a nod and he dropped his cutlery onto his plate. “We’re getting married!”
I sat there stunned for what felt like a full minute. “Really? Are you really?”
“Yes!” Natalie laughed. “We didn’t want to waste anymore time.”
I felt like I couldn’t breathe. All words stilled in my chest.
“Are you happy? You look a little pale there,” Riley joked.
“Of course I’m happy!” I stood, shaking myself out of my stupor. I pulled my sister in for a hug and Riley next. Ryan clung onto my waist the entire time.
“Are you happy-crying, Auntie Lo?” Ryan asked. I bent, kissing his face.
“Yes, I’m happy crying.” I sat again and pulled him into my lap. “When?” I asked them. “Have you started making plans yet? No, wait. How did you propose?”
