“I feel ready.” I’d expected to be nervous but I wasn’t, not even a little bit.
She stood and smoothed a lock of hair over my shoulder. “You look ready.” She gave me a watery-eyed smile. “I can’t believe we’re here. Do you remember fighting over a barbie on our first day in nursery school?”
“I remember you stole it and wouldn’t give it back.” I nudged her with my elbow. “I remember we got our first ever periods on the same day.”
“Yeah, during double P.E. It was like a scene fromCarrie.” She shuddered at the memory. “I got my first kiss before you. You were so jealous.”
“I was not. That boy was gross.” The boy whose name I couldn’t remember but I did remember he always had food in his braces. “I remember you were there for my mum's funeral.”
“I remember you bought me a cake when my shitty parents forgot my birthday.”
“Prom.” We both said at the same time and burst out laughing. We’d shared a bottle of champagne we shouldn’t have had and ended the night puking in the bushes.
“I couldn’t have done any of it without you.”
“Shut up,” she huffed. “This make-up cost a fortune.” She fanned her face and turned away from me. “I’ll meet you downstairs. You take a minute and then we’ll walk down. Hurry though, or Moneybags will come and get you himself.”
She left me alone. For the first time in what felt like forever, I was on my own. The last weeks had been a cacophony of celebrations. There was the trip we all took to Dublin to meet my father’s family and see where he grew up. Then the bachelorette party. The mad whirlwind of building the bleeding heart sculptures with Sid and of course, dealing with all the tiny details that went into planning a wedding. Getting everything ready and just right.
I was gettingmarried.
I walked to the window, overlooking the grounds, the smattering of trees that hid our evergarden where everyone was waiting for me. As always, my hand went to my necklace.Shewas with me.
I was ready. Ready for the rest of my life with the man I loved more than anything. I was ready for a lifetime of arched eyebrows and dirty words over a smooth tongue. None of it seemed frightening anymore. I could suddenly see our path. I saw us getting old, I saw our children. I saw how we could meet in the middle every day.
I picked up my bouquet of bleeding hearts. It was time.
I took the stairs instead of the small elevator Alfie had installed last year. He hated ruining the aesthetic but Ada complained about climbing the stairs so he’d had one built, tucked away into a closet out of sight.
I wanted to take my time walking through our home.Home. It was still surreal that this was my home now. No longer a hotel, Alfie had remodelled it. The top two floors for us, the first floor for Ada and Elliot and whichever of our family wanted to visit.
The gold ballroom would stay, not just for aesthetic, but for nostalgia and for our wedding dinner later.
I found Keira in the entrance hall, leaning against Damien, head bent in private conversation.
“Wow,” he said as I approached. “Alfie’s going to lose his mind.”
“It’s all Keira.” I still couldn’t believe she’d embroidered each little flower by hand. “How is he?”
“Impatient. I’ll go and tell him you’re ready?”
He left and Keira held her hand out. “Ready for the long walk?”
It was a perfect day. For once, the skies were clear, there was no rain, no need to worry my dress was going to be ruined.
As I approached the grass steps and the flower wheels covered with honeysuckle and jasmine that would lead me down to our Evergarden, my heart started to beat a little faster.
Music was playing, that was our cue. Keira squeezed my hand then let go. The long walk I was doing on my own.
It had taken me a while to decide whether to follow tradition or not with regards to being given away. In the end, I’d decided to take a leaf out of Alfie’s book and set my own rules. I loved my dad, I loved Keira too and Natalie and Ryan and Elliot, all people who had offered to walk me down the aisle. But I wanted to do it alone. I wanted to stand on my own two feet. If my dad had been upset by my decision, he didn’t show it. Besides, we still had our father-daughter dance that I’d watched him rehearsing for on his own when he thought no one was looking.
I watched Keira disappear and waited for the music to change. When it did, I gripped my bouquet tighter, and took my first step.
We hadn’t decorated the Evergarden, there was no need. The sea of bluebells and the cherry tree over the lily-filled lake were enough.
A sea of familiar faces turned to me and I felt anxious at being the centre of attention. I might be on camera for a living now but that didn’t make this part any easier.
As always when I was uncomfortable, I searched for him and as soon as I found his eyes, my spirit settled.
