I closed my eyes, old waves of bitterness flowing over me.
“I used my connections to get his name and address. On the night I was supposed to be supervising a drop, I went to hishouse instead. I waited for the right moment and when he came outside to put his bins out on the pavement, I beat him bloody. Beat him until he couldn’t see. Beat him until the bones in my hands broke. I didn’t care anymore about what happened to me. After your mother…I just didn’t care anymore.”
“Why doesn’t Elliot know this? Your record…”
“It didn’t come up in court. I didn’t say who he was to me or try to use it as a defence. He isn’t listed as having killed your mother, not officially and she and I weren’t married anymore. Nobody made the connection.”
I sat there, trying to process what he was telling me. Could it really be true?
“I did the time and I didn’t mind it. Prison was probably the best place for me. Eight years. Easy day. But I hated myself for failing you and Natalie. She was alright, I told myself. She had her mother and a lot of family but you, you only had your gran. She was dead by the time I got out and you were thriving without me. I was homeless, a drunk, wanted by the Bernes for how much money I’d cost them. I thought it would be better if I just stayed away.”
I looked at him, studying his face like I did Alfie’s. For the life of me I couldn’t see a lie anywhere. “You really checked in on us?”
“Your mum never gave you a succulent on your birthday. That was me. I’d leave one of the doorstep before anyone was awake and she’d pretend it was from her.”
My chest tightened, tears welled in my eyes and I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop them.
“That’s why they stopped after she died.”
He nodded and this time, I didn’t stop him from wrapping his arms around me. “I love you so much, Little Lo. I won’t leave you again, I promise.”
Forty-Four
For once, I was awake before Alfie. He slept soundly next to me while I wondered how I didn’t have a headache despite how much I’d cried the night before. I’d told him everything and as always, he’d held me through it.
I felt a weight had lifted off my chest, the weight of an abandoned child that I’d been carrying for more than twenty years. My father had never left me, not really. The world had just separated us and now, the world had brought us back together.
I felt too the satisfaction of justice. No longer carrying around the bitterness that the man who had caused my mothers death had just gotten away with it. He had been punished, not legally, but punished all the same.
I climbed out of bed and dressed as quietly as I could. It was early, there were hours to go before Natalie and Riley’s wedding breakfast. We were sending them off on their honeymoon today but we had time for one last meal with family before they left. Riley was taking Natalie on a cruise and she couldn’t wait.
I tiptoed out of the castle and breathed in the fresh air. I wanted to explore the grounds a little before we left. My swan sculpture still stood tall and I was surprised to see Natalie sitting next to it.
“Morning,” I said as I sat next to her on the bench, “I wasn’t expecting you to be up.”
“Couldn’t sleep any longer.” She looked worn out. I guess it had been a busy few days.
“You’re a little pale. Are you okay?”
“Yes,” she pulled in a deep breath. “How’re you?”
“I’m good. Dad and I have mended fences.” I didn’t need to give her more detail than that. My fathers past was probably best left where it was, in the past.
“Oh, Lola, that makes me so happy.” She pasted a quivering smile on her face. “I wanted to ask you something. It’s a little delicate.” I waved for her to go ahead. “I was wondering if there was any way you were ready to clear out your old room. I understand it's precious and so on. I don't want to overstep—” I held up a hand, cutting her off.
“I wanted to talk to you about that too. Are you and Riley happy living there? I know he makes good money and could afford a bigger house somewhere else…I supposed I’m asking if he wants to stay or do you plan to move?”
She frowned. “I-I don’t want to move. It’s a little small but it’s cosy, it’s home. Why?”
“If you want to stay there, then it should be yours. Legally. On paper.”
Her mouth fell open and she immediately shook her head. “It’s yours. Your gran left it to you.”
“I’m not raising my family there, you are. So yes, I’ll clear out my room. I guess Ryan is getting to the age where he’ll want more privacy anyway.” My old attic bedroom would give him more space than the room next to his parents.
“Yes and we’re going to need his room anyway.”
“For what?” I asked.
