Jane finally said, “That is… nice… I suppose,” sounding like even she was struggling for words.
“I must greet him and offer news of his aunt straightaway. It is imperative,” he said, looking around for his coat, as if to ride to Meryton and do his obeisance immediately.
“You willnotintroduce yourself, sir,” I snapped. “It is for the superior gentleman to seek an introduction should he so choose, and he has not done so. Besides that, if you paid any attention at all in Meryton, you should comprehend he has important tasks on his mind and will not be greeting anybody.”
"My dear Miss Elizabeth, I have the highest opinion in the world in your excellent judgement in all matters within the scope of your understanding; but permit me to say, that there must be a wide difference between the established forms of ceremony amongst the laity, and those which regulate the clergy; for, give me leave to observe that I consider the clerical office as equal in point of dignity with the highest rank in the kingdom—provided that a proper humility of behaviour is—”
I must sheepishly admit I lost my temper and snapped at him. “Mr Collins! Let me be rightly understood! It is your education that is lacking if you think you can disregard the proprieties because you are a clergyman. The rules have no such exceptions—do they, Mary?”
I admit it was a low blow bringing Mary into the conversation, but there was some method to my madness. In the first place, I thought I needed some simple outlet for my frustrations else I might say something intemperate to Mr Collins, which seemed like it would be counterproductive if I might depend on his charity in future. Secondly, I hoped to redirect him to Mary, who might welcome the attentions he had been showering on me (maybe! I never actually know what Mary thinks about anything). I had no idea how to manage such a diversion, and wondered if I could just ask Mr Darcy to order him to move his affections to Mary. It seemed like the sort of thing he could do.
The next five minutes went by in tedious detail as Mary and Mr Collins argued the doctrinal aspects of the rules of propriety. Since said rules were very English, and written millennia after the Bible, it was a stretch, but the two of them made a go of it. The enterprise made about as much sense as you might think, but at least the man was blathering at someone else for once.
If there had not been a Netherfield ball to prepare for and talk of, we would have been in a very pitiable state, for from the day of the invitation, to the day of the ball, there was such a succession of rain as prevented our walking to Meryton once. For my own purposes, it was far worse, as Mr Collins seemed impervious to my increasingly strident efforts to redirect his attentions to someone more suitable, which I uncharitably defined as anyone but me.
On the last evening before the ball, I thought I had escaped the man, but somehow, when I least expected it, he asked for the opening dances, and I could not decline without giving up all dancing for the evening. Even so, I gave it serious consideration, to the point where a sensible man would wonder why it took so long for me to produce a one-word answer.
Drat! and Fie! I would need to redouble my efforts, as Mr Collins had not given up on me at all.
10.Celebration- Jane
I thought another day of rain might have resulted in mayhem for Mr Collins, but Lizzy managed to keep her composure by a hair’s breadth.
I looked forward to dancing with Mr Bingley and learning if we might have a future. I sheepishly admit I missed him during the intervening four days of rain, and even thought from time to time that a dashing hero would not be bothered by the wet. After all, our shoe roses were obtained by proxy, and a servant was not necessarily any tougher than a gentleman. On the other hand, visiting in such weather sent a very particular message—one neither of us was likely ready for.
I entered the ballroom with Lizzy on my arm in a deliberate bid to keep Mr Collins away from her as long as possible. I doubted I would have much effect on the man the rest of the night, and Lizzy would have to avoid him assiduously to prevent him asking for a second set. I had no idea how she would respond to such an affront and no particular desire to find out. My best guess was she would give him an excuse about long-standing custom of never dancing a second set with anybody, which would just barely satisfy the rules of propriety. Yet, she was equally capable of finally telling him he was less likely to win her hand than to become King of England just to get it over with, so one never knew.
For my part, I did my best by telling him in the strictest confidence that Lady Catherine would certainly disapprove of him dancing with a lady whom another man was showing particular attentions, nor would his patroness be pleased to learn he slighted his other cousins and their close friends by failing to request dances. In that manner, I threw Mary, Kitty, Lydia, Charlotte, Louisa Goulding, and Amy Long to the wolves with only the slightest twinge of conscience.
I was still not entirely certain how to handle Mr Bingley. I definitely esteemed him more than I had previously but had no idea what I would say if he screwed up his courage to ask for my hand. He had called on me at Longbourn often enough he should really have asked my father’s permission (for all the good that would do) and the next step was usually a proposal.
I hoped he was in no hurry to go that far. I did not want to discourage him but did not want to be overly flirtatious either. It was a fine line, and so long as I did not ascribe to the Charlotte Lucas theory of marriage, I had to keep my comportment to just the right level. It was tricky, and frankly exhausting walking the fine line society allows women. Too enthusiastic and you are either wanton or mercenary—too demure and you are cold and disinterested. To all that, you must add that the line narrows with increasing beauty or consequence, and that was all without even considering how much time I had to worry about Mr Darcy learning my secret. Naturally, that did not even account for the total want of propriety my mother and younger sisters were likely to exhibit, and I could not even be confident my father would not join in.All in all, it was most frustrating.
Lizzy wanted to ask Mr Darcy about Mr Denny desperately, but I knew she would never do anything so foolish. Reminding him of the summer was the very last thing anyone should do when a sudden burst of recognition could expose us. Meeting Miss Darcy was of course inevitable if my relationship with Mr Bingley proceeded to its natural conclusion, but by then I judged I would be safe from his censure.
I had given some thought to simply telling the man just to get it over with, but our reputations were simply too fragile, and I had to worry about five—not only one. Just riding the post coach the rest of the way to London after our altercation would be a serious propriety violation, and I did not want to have to deal with either the man’s censure or approval. Mr Denny hadnever been seen in Meryton again, so the man obviously wielded influence. I thought it best to leave well enough alone for the time being.
All in all, things looked to be as promising as I could hope for.How foolish I was!
Kitty and Lydia ran to the refreshment table so fast they nearly beat Mr Hurst, while Mary sat in a corner nursing a musical score, Fordyce, and her resentment at Mr Collins singling Lizzy out. She seemed to be interested in the foolish man, but our mother just could not see the possibilities of settling the daughter she had the least faith in. Mama was a simplistic creature who thought you simply matched any eligible man with the handsomest of her daughters currently available and the deed was done.
Why she thought Lizzy would go along was a mystery to me. Why she thought her future at Longbourn would be secure with a daughter she browbeat into matrimony was even more perplexing. Could she not see that if she did manage to attach Lizzy to Mr Collins, her second daughter would throw her out of her home five minutes after her return?
Mr Bingley was his usual happy and amiable self, and I was heartened to see that his presence settled my troubled thoughts somewhat. I opened the ball with him as arranged and for the space of a dance, I almost managed to keep my focus on what was occurring between us.
I did manage to spare enough attention to note that Lizzy’s experience was far worse. Mr Collins was a menace—an absolute menace. I was half-expecting him to end up compromised to some poor lady over the course of the evening, and wondered if Lizzy would approve or deny the scheme. I even briefly considered the benefits of tripping him during his dance with Mary to ensure his marriage to the correct Bennet, but as exciting as that might be, it was beneath me. Naturally, I wouldnot mention such a scheme to Lizzy, because I was not entirely convinced it was beneath her.
I brought Mr Bingley to speak with Lizzy, and in the process suggested he might try to spare her Mr Collins’ attention. It was an unfair test, but if he could manage that, it would increase my esteem, which rose at a faster rate than I had hitherto expected.
The gentlemen sized each other up, and Mr Bingley did as I hoped. Much to my pleasure, without hurting the poor man’s feelings, he made it clear that it would be an insult to his host if he danced more than one set with any lady while others were without partners. Naturally, he simply parroted what I had told my cousin, but hearing it from a man had some slight chance of penetrating Mr Collins’ obtuseness, as nothing Lizzy or I said ever did.Thatact earned Mr Bingley a genuine full smile, and when he looked startled, I wondered if I had ever given him one before.
That made me wonder if I had tarred the man with the brush of his friend and sisters rather than evaluating him on his own merits. Of course, once that thought was in place, I had to wish he did not tar me with the brush of the rest of my family. Much as I disliked his sisters and friends, I doubted the Bennets would win a propriety contest.
I started wondering how our acquaintance might have proceeded without my worries over Mr Darcy. Would I be in love already? Would he? Would he have liked me with my usually more open expressions? Would my usual full smiles delivered earlier have captured his affection or made me look disingenuous? Was he even now in some doubt that I needed to assuage? I supposed I would never know, but I provisionally believed that I liked the man very much—very much indeed. Should he decide to move to the next step, I thought I might well approve, so long as that step was not too far or too fast. We had an attraction, but we still knew very little about each other.
In the next set, Lizzy danced with an officer, though I have no idea which, since they are essentially interchangeable. She gave the man the appropriate attention, but I also noticed her frequent glances at Mr Darcy, while he seemed to stare at her more than usual.
Before the fourth set, I conversed with Mr and Miss Bingley when I was startled to see the most outrageous event of my life, and I was happy it occurred behind both their backs, so I was spared their reactions. To my utter amazement,Mr Darcy asked Lizzy to dance.I repeat, Mr Darcy asked Lizzy to dance. I was astonished! I was amazed! I was flabbergasted and thunderstruck!
