“I’m so sorry, Josh…” When she looked up again, he gave her his sweetest smile.
“Don’t be sorry, Riley Jane. She just wants the best for you. I think she’s great. She asked me not to tell you that she’d come to see me. I let her know that I wouldn’t keep that kind of information from you. She took it well. She seemed resigned to whatever blowback she’s going to get from you.”
“I will definitely have to speak with her. She can get pretty overbearing sometimes.”
His gaze was steady, holding hers. “She loves you.”
“Yeah, well. That doesn’t mean she gets to fix all my supposed problems for me.”
He reached out and guided a curl of her hair out of her eyes. His touch burned her in the most arousing way. She drew a shaky breath and reminded herself that he was here to talk about the baby, about where they would go from here. That they needed to focus on the future and stop falling into bed together every chance they got.
“I’ve missed you,” he said, rough and low. “I’ve missed you a lot.”
She held very still. She had the sense that if she moved a muscle, she would end up throwing herself into his arms.I’ve missed you, too, she thought. Somehow, though, she managed to keep herself from saying it out loud.
“Riley.” His voice was steady. “We have so much together. You’re my best friend, you really are.”
She drew a shaky breath. “I…treasure your friendship, too, Josh.”
“We understand each other,” he said. “We count on each other. There’s no one I would rather spend the day—or the night with—than you. We have fun together. We’re honest with each other. Our sons are best friends…”
She felt a tug of alarm for what she suddenly feared he was going to say next—but no. He wouldn’t do that. He knew how she felt. He wouldn’t ask for what she could never give. “I, um, think the world of you, Josh.”
He looked at her for the longest time.
She brushed the pad of her left thumb against the base of her ring finger. That finger was bare now. She no longer wore the princess-cut diamond TJ had slipped on her hand the night she said yes. As for the matching wedding ring with glittering pavé diamonds all along the band—she didn’t wear that, either.
For a year after he died, she’d continued to wear them.But it hurt so much, to look down and see those perfect diamonds gleaming on her hand, to be constantly reminded that life was far from perfect, that she had lost the man she loved.
So she’d taken off her rings and put them away where she didn’t have to see them. She would never wear them again. She would never wear any man’s ring again.
Love was glorious. Love was everything.
Until you lost it.
Until you sat alone in the woods with no cell service, cradling your husband’s bloody head in your lap, begging him not to go as he drew his last breath…
“Riley. Will you marry me?”
What?She blinked in alarm. “Josh, I…”
He took her hand and held it between both of his. “Say yes. Let us make a family. It will be good, I promise you. The boys will love it. The new baby will have everything—a mom and a dad and two brothers to look up to. We can make it work, because we have what makes a marriage work. Riley Jane, we have trust between us. We like just being together. We tell each other everything. Riley, I love you. I do. Please marry me.”
“Oh, Josh…”
His dark brows drew together. “Talk to me. Whatever doubts you have, whatever questions or objections, I want to know so I can help you get past them.”
Where to even begin? “I thought you understood…”
“I do understand,” he insisted. “I get it. You were never going to get married again. But never is one of those words that’s always going to be subject to change.”
“No, Josh. It’s not. Not when it comes to this. Not for me. I meant what I said. I amnevergetting married again.” She pulled their joined hands to her chest and held them there. “And come on. It’s not the answer for you, either. I knowwhat you really want. It’s what your parents have, what Joe and Macy have. What your brother has with Sadie. Yes, I know that you love me. But you’re notinlove with me.”
His eyes made promises she could not afford to acknowledge. “Oh, Rile. I’m so damn close to being in love with you. Just give me one tiny nudge, and I’m falling. I think it’s inevitable. Put me out of my misery. Say yes to me. Let’s make a great life together.”
She held her breath. Because if she dared to exhale, a yes might slip out along with it.
She did love him. And if she was foolish enough to take him up on his offer, she could so easily fallinlove with him. That could not happen. She needed a little distance, needed her own place to go home to, needed the safety of her separate life.
