“Just think about what I said,” Macy whispered.
“Oh, please. As if I’ll be thinking about anything else…”
* * *
The weekend crawled by. Sunday, Riley and Dillon had dinner at Annette’s.
Twice, Annette asked her if she was all right. Riley said she was just fine. And she was. Or so she kept reminding herself.
She only needed to live through this…period of adjustment. Eventually, she would get over her longing for Josh. She just needed time to move on and focus on the way things were now.
Annette mentioned Miles more than once. She practically glowed every time she said his name.
The irony of the situation didn’t escape Riley. She had encouraged Annette to say yes to Miles, to loosen up, let go of her so-called rules. Annette had done that. And look at her now. Annette had always been a force to be reckoned with, so smart and successful. Tough and determined. But a little bit sad, too. A little bit lonely.
Now, though, she had an actual glow. She looked ten years younger, and she took things in stride. The brittle shell of loneliness she used to have around her heart had cracked wide open and fallen away.
As for Riley, she saw quite clearly now that she had rules, too. And she was terrified to break them. And so she set her mind and heart on getting through the days and the lonely nights until she could somehow get over Josh.
He called on Monday as she was about to go into the morning meeting at the hotel. She let the call go to voice mail and then couldn’t bear to check the message. Finally, a few minutes before she left the hotel to pick up Dillon from daycare, she played the message back.
“Just wanted to be sure you’re managing okay,” he said.“Anything you need, you let me know. Call me or drop me a text whenever you get a chance.”
That was it. He sounded…reserved.
But why shouldn’t he keep things cool? That was the point, wasn’t it? To be cool and get over what they’d had that had been so good and right and…not sustainable. Because he wanted more, and she couldn’t go there.
He called again Monday evening not long after she tucked Dillon into bed.
She longed to just let it go to voice mail and pretend for a while that he hadn’t called. Because right now, it hurt even to imagine hearing his voice. But blowing him off a second time would be so wrong. So she muted the big screen over the fireplace and answered, “Hi, Josh! How are you?”
“Good. No problems here. You?”
Dear God. This was awful. The two of them faking it for all they were worth, trying to sound normal when everything was so completely wrong. Her heart was pounding so hard she couldn’t hear herself think—and what was the question? Right. How was she? “I’m okay, really.”
“Not picking up your messages, though, huh?”
She winced. “I’m sorry. I kept meaning to call…”
“Oh, really?”
Now she felt painfully defensive. “I did mean to call. Honestly…”
“It’s okay,” he said. But they both knew it wasn’t. “I’ll check in next Monday. We’re signed up for that birthing class on Thursday the tenth, remember?”
“Of course.” The birthing class was a week and a half away. A lot could happen in a week and a half. By the tenth of July, she might be over all this…awfulness. Hey, it was possible that she would wake up a week from nowand think,Well, what do you know? I’m over Josh. Now we can be buddies again…
But seriously, who did she think she was kidding? Right now it felt like they could never go back. That she would never be over him, and he would never be ready to just be her friend again. Right now, she feared that misery would follow her around for the rest of her days.
“It’s just a one-night class,” she said. “Just the basics.”
“I am aware.”
“Well, okay then.”
A cool chuckle escaped him. “You can’t wait to get rid of me, can you?”
“I, uh…”
