At first. She let the hurt and anger wash through her, waited for it to settle down to a dull throb in the vicinity of her heart before she asked, “You really meant what you said Sunday night, didn’t you? That you just wanted this time with me, every minute we couldsteal?”
It took him way too long to answer. And then it got worse because he answered with one painful word. “Yeah.”
“But you’recrazyabout me?” She tried not to pile on the irony and knew that she didn’t fully succeed.
“I am, yeah. I think it will probably mess me over really bad when you go.”
She sat up, pulling the sheet with her to cover her breasts. Because it was like that between them suddenly. All at once, he was someone she didn’t want to be bare in front of. “It doesn’t have to end when I go back to LA. You know it doesn’t. We could—”
“Maddy. Leave it alone. Let’s just enjoy what we have for right now. Please.”
“I don’t understand you.”
“What’s to understand?”
“It’s like you’re trying to prove that things can’t work out with us. One way or another, you’ll make sure it all goes to crap and then you can say you knew that it would all along.”
“Look.” He lied with his eyes. He watched her so tenderly, begging her to understand that he knew best and what he knew was that she would go and he would stay and that would be the end of them. “I’m the first guy you’ve been with. There are going to be other guys. The day will come when you look back on this time we had together and—”
“Ungh!” She cut him off with a hard groan aimed at the ceiling. “Please. Believe it or not, there are still people in this world who have one sexual partner their whole lives and are totally happy about that. So can we not talk about my next boyfriend while I’m still in bed with you?”
He nodded. Slowly. “You’re right. Sorry.”
And really, why was she pushing this? Hadn’t she promised herself she would take this thing with him one day at a time, enjoy every moment and not weigh it all down with expectations?
She wanted him,lovedhim even. And that meant she wantedmoreof him—of his kisses and his tender touch. Of that fine body of his that felt like home when he held her tight. Of his time and attention, his great laugh, his kindness and that way he had of seeing things that made the world all new to her, made the path before her clear and bathed in light.
So, all right. She wanted him and imagining the two of them together into the future seemed utterly easy and right to her.
It just wasn’t that way for him.
And the guy had a right to his doubts. He was only trying to be honest about them, trying to put the brakes on a little. Could she really blame him for believing that in the end the big movie star from LA would eventually return to her Bel Air mansion and her amazing, perfect, big-time career, leaving him far behind?
She made herself put away her frustration with him. “All right then. That’s a no-thank-you on the post-DNA party.”
“It’s just better that way.”
“Wrong. But you’re certainly entitled to your opinion. I really don’t want to fight.”
“Neither do I.” He pulled her close again. She settled her head on his shoulder.
And then he asked, “What time do you need to be there?”
She rubbed her palm against the light dusting of hair on his hard chest, enjoying the springy feel of it against her skin. “Around three.”
“I’ll drive you. You can call me when you’re ready to come home.”
“I’ll get a cab.” Before he could argue, she pressed her hand harder against his chest, communicating that she meant what she said. “If you’re not going, you’re not driving me.”
“Maddy...”
“Forget it. Let it go.”
* * *
Sten’s goal was to keep his outlook realistic when it came to him and Maddy. The whole point was to not get in too deep.
He knew it would be bad when she left. But maybe, by drawing the line on her now and then, he could make his future misery a little less so.
