“I’m done being high maintenance now.” I laugh at him, and he raises his eyebrow with a tiny nod before turning his body so we’re shoulder to shoulder. He leads me out to the party, bypassing the press and the anxiety to bring me straight to my teammates.
“What the hell was that?” Kaia asks as we approach. Christian looks unimpressed already, but at least he’s dressed nicely. Kaia’s in a skin-tight navy blue lace dress that shows off the matching bra and underwear beneath.
“You look hot,” I gasp.
“Don’t use flattery to avoid the question, Reaper.” She pokes me in the shoulder.
“I didn’t want the valet driving my truck, so I took it around back. Checked on Boone,” Brighton cuts me off as I open my mouth. “Do you want a drink?” He asks me, his arm leaving mine as he steps away. I nod, and he takes his leave, but not before stopping abruptly, “Come on, Christopher, I’ll buy you a beer.”
“It’s Christian,” he snaps, looking over Kaia’s shoulder.
“I know,” Brighton says without missing a beat, but Christian follows and leaves us to talk.
“It’s an open bar…” Sunday whispers, confused.
“What really happened?” Cosy eyes me, she’s wearing baby blue, and it fits her perfectly. It pushes up her breasts and hugs her waist in the right spot.
“Wasn’t prepared for all the press outside, we came in the back,” I admit.
“Okay, well, we’re inside now, you look like a goddess, and you managed to get my brother in a suit,” Sunday praises. She’s in the most adorable indigo pant suit without a shirt underneath, and out of the four outfits, she’s got the least amount of clothing on but looks sharp and mean. I love it. “So let's make the most of it.”
I roll my shoulders back, forcing that confidence through me. I take a second to forget about the sadness and shove through the disappointment that stings at the corners of my eyes.Do this for yourself and no one else.
“Let’s fucking party.” I push a grin to my face, and the girls start cheering.
An hour later, after dinner and a string of horrendous speeches, the girls and I are messing around on the open dance floor to a mix of late-2000sclub music and passing around the crystal plaque with my name etched on it.
The sadness is at bay, and I feel like I can fly…which may or may not be the gin talking, but at this point. Who cares?
I slip from the circle to find water, and Brighton is standing against the bar, talking to Boone with his hands in his pockets and his eyes on the room. I watch him for a second, taking in the way his jaw tightens when he hears a loud noise and loosens when his brother says something. He’s perplexing and confusing, all while being one of the most straightforward, no-nonsense people I’ve ever met.
He pulls his hand out of his pocket, leaning over the bar, and pops the lid on a water bottle with his thumb before handing it to me.
“They’re going to break that.” He nods to Kaia, twerking on the glass award in Sunday's hand as she pretends to slap Kaia’s ass with it.
“Oh well,” I shrug and start to laugh again. “They're having fun. Do you even know what that is, Killjoy?”
Brighton sighs.
I try not to care. The speech left me sweaty and uncomfortable under a row of hot lights and unable to see the faces that mattered. Not to mention telling a story about the struggles of being a female athlete to a room full of rich, white men who didn’t understand the plot point was infuriating. Next year, they would be praising some other girl, younger and faster than me.Don’t get me wrong, I want to be proud of my accomplishments, but it’s hard when I’m constantly cheering myself on in a society that doesn’t give a shit about women’s sports.
Addy would be furious:“Make them give a shit, Reaper.”
I wish she were here tonight to see this. I think about pulling out my phone, but don’t want to risk the drunk tears to do it. And just like that, the sadness creeps back uninvited. Mom hasn’t even responded to the picture of the award. I take another slow drink of water to bring myself back from the ledge. I wish the girls didn’t have to carry the burden of making me feel loved; it’s not their job, and they do their fair share ofhollering, but… It’s different knowing their families would be here for them tonight. They’d drop everything for them.
Like the girls do for you.I smile, staring at them, still being lunatics. This is what matters, this iswhomatters. So if they break the award, who cares, because knowing the girls, they’ll glue the pieces back together—just like they’ve done with me.
Brighton stares at me like I’m insane, and I probably look like it.
“Do you want to dance?” His voice cuts through the thoughts, and I realize that the music has slowed in the distance.
“Uh,” I look around to see that all the girls have found partners. Sunday is dancing with Cosy’s brother, Van, and she’s found a cute, older basketball player to lean her head on. Kaia is noticeably missing, but the chances that Christian is causing shit somewhere are high, so it leaves me alone.
Always too tall. Always alone. I hate this. I shouldn’t have worn the heels.
“Take them off then,” he says, and I turn to look at him.
Shit, I said that out loud. I need to work on that.
