“Whatever is going on in my head… I can’t fix it, at least not on my own. I haven’t been able to for a long time, but I can’t risk it.” I shake my head in shame.Protect her.
“What do you mean, risk it?” José asks.
“I can’t risk snapping like that again. What if next time Daisy’s home? Or Rhea? And I don’t just break a door?"
"Is she okay?" Is his next question.
"I didn’t touch her. Thank God. I can live with what I did this time—” I trail off, and both of them understand.
“So what do you need from us?” Boone interjects into my dark thoughts.
“I need you to keep this place standing,” I say to him, and his brows furrow.
“That doesn’t fix the problem, Bri,” he warns.
“Yeah, I know, it’s just for a bit. There’s a facility in Pittsburgh.”
José nods; he knows exactly what the plan is. “We talk about it sometimes in group with the guys that really need extra support. It’s an assisted living and therapy placement.”
“The program is eighteen weeks long,” I say to Boone.
“That’s a long time.” He swallows tightly.
“It is, but I’ve been gone longer for stupider reasons; this is important.” I stare at him. “I ran because the idea of hurting her, hurting them… it pushed me to a place I didn’t want to be.”
“Alright.” He agrees—without any more arguing.
“What do you need from me?” José asks.
“I need you to take over group sessions for a bit,” I say, the next breath is deep, to keep me from saying something I shouldn’t. “Sarge is taking a step back. He wanted me to do it—but you’re the only person I trust to take care of the guys. You think you can do that?”
“Of course,” he nods, watching me closely for a tell that might give away more, but I’m locked down.No one can know about Landon.“I need to get to work, but keep me updated and email me all the shit for the church on your drive.” He slaps the island, says goodbye to Boone, and the front door slams shut.
“There’s something else,” Boone says instantly. “And don’t try that military mind voodoo shit on me. You’re hiding something, I can feel it.”
He hates this. All of it. I know that, it’s obvious enough. He’s mad that it’s something he can’t fix, something that I have to get from someone else after all these years.
He’s never been one to get jealous; it’s just not him. We used to joke that I took it all, leaving Boone to be so easygoing and carefree. But that’s not the truth either. Boone is just as dark as I am on the inside; he just hides it better.
“I need you to keep an eye on Rhea,” I say to him.
“There it is. You’re not telling her.” He narrows his eyes at me, sharp and judgmental.
"No.” I confirm.I can’t face her, not like this. I’ll call her once I’m there.The unspoken truth is that if I hear her voice, I might not go at all. Leaving her and Daisy is going to kill me.
“You know better than anyone that Rhea can take care of herself.”
“It’s not about her taking care of herself,” I sigh.
I know she can do that; she was doing it long before I came around.
“Just…” I stop to think about my words. “Make sure she’s not alone. She gets sad, and she hides it really well, but don’t let her be sad and alone with this. She’s going to hate me for it, she’ll probably make excuses for me, she’s definitely going to think it’s her fault.”
Boone chuckles darkly and nods in agreement.
“Don’t let her do that stuff alone.”
“I hear you.”
