“I am not promised here until my death,” I said.
“I am not a forgiving god, Koryn,” he sneered. “For the wellbeing of your bonded, you had best remember that.”
“I did not choose the bond.” But I would protect it and treasure it for as long as I could.
“No, it was gifted to you by Seraxa.” His dark face curled with revulsion.
I did not care about his petty infighting with the other gods. I cared about Garrick and the future of Velora—not for its own sake, but for the ones I cared about who were cursed by it. “You have not given me an answer.”
He lifted his chin. “I cannot interfere with the bargains you make with other gods. If Xyta demands your bonded’s life as their due, then that is what is required.”
Anger rushed in, cold as the ice that this very god had gifted to me. “You are supposed to be the most powerful of them all. Yet you won’t do it. You won’t bestir yourself to help me.”
I did not hold it back. I couldn’t kill or hurt him. I let the ice flow from me, coating the floor around us. I hated that his dark hell made my frost glitter. Like they belonged together, like I’d been made for this place.
The Dark God closed the space between us, leaning down so that I could not avoid his dark eyes as they bored into me. “Haven’t I been with you, through all of the gates? How many times have you whispered those words…Dark God, help me. Dark God, be with me. And I was. I always was.”
“I got through the gates on my own,” I said through my teeth.
“Of course you did. I would expect nothing less of my future queen.”
It physically pained me, but I forced the words out. “Help me.”
“No,” he said simply. “You must choose between your lover and your coven.”
Lover was worse than bonded.
I remained rooted to the spot as he walked around me, his black eyes dissecting me as he went. I would have felt less exposed if I’d been naked. If I thought he’d accept that offer, I’d have removed my clothes right there. But I knew his answer in whatever remained of my soul. My heart.
Just like I knew not to flinch away from his touch as he lifted the curtain of hair away from my neck. As he pressed his lips to the hollow of my throat.
“I will see you again soon, sweet Koryn. Very soon.”
CHAPTER 68
No time had passed,my exchange with the Dark God little more than a flicker of flame. But my skin still tingled where he’d pressed his lips to my throat. I’d begged for his help for a second time, and he’d given his answer—a resoundingno.
My past self was gone, her form merged with my own. My coven sisters stood on the points of the pentacle, all except for McKean, who advanced on Garrick with her curved dagger.
Choose, Xyta whispered in my ear.
Coven—power—life.
Or Garrick—Lifebind—lover.
Without my coven, I would eventually waste away. My power would dim. I might save Garrick, but eventually, the second death would come for me. When it did, the Dark God would be waiting.
McKean lifted her hand overhead, so caught up in her bloodlust that she did not even realize as she sliced through several strands of her own golden hair. Isanara growled. I recognized the sound of her wings flaring wide. But she could not intervene—I would not risk her incurring Xyta’s wrath.
Xyta demanded a choice. Zeph, the God of Memory, demanded a change. But unlike those first two flashes of thepast, it was not the memory that needed to change. It was me. I had already changed. When I killed McKean to save Kyrelle, I’d been driven by guilt, by a heart that I refused to embrace. But now, standing between my coven sister and my bonded, I could not lie to myself any longer. The organ in my chest might be dead, but my heart was very much alive. I could recognize that because of the dragon at my side and the man kneeling before me.
Choose.
I’d made my choice standing before the Dark God’s throne, with his lips pressed against my skin.
I threw out my hand, daggers of deadly ice spearing through the air. They impaled my coven sister through her throat, her abdomen, her chest. Before the blade she held could clatter to the ground, the memory dissolved around us.
We landedhard on the rock-strewn pathway between the mountains. Garrick kept me upright, his hand digging into my upper arms as my body pitched sideways. I clung to him, curling my fingers around his leather tunic, desperate to feel his heart beating, his breath against my face.
