I had to stop myself twice, holding my body taut above her to keep from spilling myself too soon. Only once I’d stoked the fire within her, erased all of her fears and replaced them with nothing but burning need, only then did I increase the speed and friction. Not fast, but just enough to push her over the edge. She cried out, demanding I take her faster, harder. But I was in control. I drove her to one orgasm. Then I slid my hand between us and fingered her to another. Only then did I sink my cock inside of her again and let go. One stroke, two. That was all it took. I belonged to her, utterly. I always had. Soul or no, she owned mine.
We were both drenched in sweat, but there was no discussion of washing. I tugged her against me, kissing her softly. I wanted to kiss her all night.
“Promise me you’ll come back,” I said between those kisses.
Her mouth remained open in invitation, but silent.
“Veyka.” I cupped her face, drawing back so I could see her clearly. “No hedging like you did before the Tower of Myda. Look at me and promise.”
She looked at me. My beautiful, courageous queen. “What if I can’t?”
I pressed my forehead to hers. “You can. The succubus will make you choose. This darkness inside of you—”
“This darkness insideisme. It always has been there.” Honesty. I’d given it to her, when I told her that I was not afraid. Now she gave it back.
I would give her everything. For Veyka, for my mate, I would beg. “And it belongs to me. With me. You belong with me. Eventhe dark parts. The succubus will make you choose. Choose life. Choose us.”
The words were soft. But she said them. “I promise.”
I buried my face in her neck, breathing in the scent of her. We would be apart on the battlefield tomorrow. But I refused to accept an after that did not include both of us.
“Sleep now. I’ll watch over you.” The succubus came in the night, when the mind was most vulnerable. But I would protect her. Always.
79
VEYKA
I pretended to sleep a few hours. One midnight argument later, and Arran finally agreed to take his own turn. I sat over him while he slept. The fact that hecouldsleep reiterated what his mouth and body had said earlier—he was not afraid of me.
Fool.
No. He loves me. He knows that I would never hurt him.
Or maybe he thinks that he is a match for us.
Us. The succubus inside my head was getting stronger. It was impossible to see with the torches doused, but I knew that if I could look, the bandage wrapped around my hand would be completely soaked. Black.
I cocked my head to the side, my mouth filling with saliva. Black bile surged up my throat, but I swallowed it back down, sputtering.
I pulled my legs tight against my chest and looped my bound arms around them, wrapping myself into a tight ball.Think of three or four words to describe yourself,Mya had advised.Repeat them again and again, whenever you feel the darkness closing in.
Strong. Friend. Mate. Wicked.
Maybe that last one was a mistake. I’d thought of Arran and how his whole face lit up when he complimented my wicked smile. But now it seemed to speak to that part of myself where the succubus had taken up residence. Arran was right about that—this darkness had always been inside of me. But it had never threatened to overpower the light. Even in the depths of my depression of Arthur’s death, it was not darkness that beckoned but nothingness. Sure, I’d wanted revenge. But this… I wanted to burn the world, then sink down into the ashes and feast on the charred remains.
Strong. Friend. Mate.
I am strong enough to fight this. My friends need me. My mate loves me.
Strong. Friend. Mate.
The succubus inside of me hissed but did not retreat. It fed on the darkness that was me, each bite breaking down the wall that protected what was left of my soul.
Strong. Friend. Mate.
There would be no sleep for me.
80
