Maybe it was cruel to characterize him as such. But I could not let him be any more. Not now. If I cared about him, if he fought at my side and I allowed myself to worry, then he was just another person that I stood to lose.
I was already in danger of losing my mate.
If my son fell on the field while fighting beside me? What would happen to me then? Would my beast recognize it? Would I be heartbroken? Or worse, would I feel nothing?
We were almost to where the northerners were encamped alongside the rest of the terrestrial army. I waited for Mordred to offer more argument. I expected it, but I had no right to. I didnot know this male. We shared blood, an especially strong flora-gift and the color of our skin. But beyond that… not tonight. I could not let myself go there tonight.
Not with Veyka’s soul hanging in the balance.
I do not begrudge you your son.She’d been so damn gracious about the whole thing, so uncharacteristically level-headed—
Because she’d expected to die.
Ancestors’ fucking hell. She’d expected to die, and that Mordred was all I would have left. She’d thought he would be a consolation in the wake of her death. Now that she’d sacrificed her soul to the succubus, her feelings were likely unchanged. But her soul survived, a precious piece of it, safe within me, tied to our bond. Once the succubus was banished, she could push it out. She could regain what she’d sacrificed.
What if she cannot beat it?
I banished the thought. If I allowed it purchase in even the tiniest corner of my mind, I would not be able to walk onto that battlefield come morning.
I wished there was more of me to offer my son. But I barely held what remained of myself together. What I could give him was the best male I knew—my father.
I stopped us on the edge of camp. My insides screamed at the impulse, but I lifted my hand to grasp his shoulder. “Serve with Pant. He is the best teacher you could have. He was mine, after all.”
Mordred didn’t quite smile but he nodded his acceptance. And I recognized that as mine as well.
76
CYARA
She fought the urge to follow Osheen out of the tent. He had not spoken to her when they’d gathered the Knights of the Round Table, and he left the second the meeting concluded. She was not self-centered enough to believe that his behavior was wholly about her. He was likely checking on Maisri. Finding his place in the ranks for the next day. Setting up his tent, if he hadn’t had a moment yet.
Or he was avoiding her.
But with mere hours left before the fight, she could not hold her peace. Her mother was with the healers. Her queen was with her Aquarian counterpart, Lyrena guarding her back. And Cyara… she was alone.
It took some asking, but eventually she located him on the outskirts of the terrestrial camp. He’d volunteered himself for perimeter patrol even though it would mean he had less sleep than most of the other warriors on the battlefield come the morning. It did not surprise her at all.
He walked a slow but steady line along a northwestern stretch of the camp, between two sharp peaks that formed a natural barrier on either side. Cyara recognized the vinescreeping over the ground as she approached. Small, slender tendrils coaxed from the sparse plants of the desert, they stretched across the ground, alerting him instantly to any intruders. She tried to avoid them, but it was futile. Still, he did not turn as she quickened her pace to catch him up. He knew it was her.
Osheen did not protest as she fell into step beside him. Cyara knew him well enough to recognize the hunch of his shoulders. Silence was not always a good sign.
“You convinced the Faeries of the Fen to come,” she said. The little vines moved as they walked, widening the path that they’d made for Osheen to leave room for her as well.
“They were already preparing for a fight. We only had to convince them to join in ours rather than wait for the succubus to come for them in the caves. We came to Eldermist because Taliya was more willing to aid the humans than the fae.” He paused. “Maisri did most of the work, as you predicted.”
Cyara tucked her wings in tight to prevent one from accidentally touching him. She doubted the caress would be welcome. “Where is she?”
“Safe.”
Her shoulder blades contracted nearly to touching.
“You do not trust me.” It was to be expected after what she’d done. She had fully understood the consequences of betraying Osheen’s confidence and sneaking away. She would not use the excuse that it had been under Arran’s orders. Her actions were her own. “I… I understand.”
And she did. She truly did. Maisri was the most precious thing in Osheen’s world. Cyara loved the child, too. If Osheen said that Maisri was safe, then she believed him without question. She did not begrudge him keeping that information from her if that was truly what he believed the best course of action. Maisri came first, and that was precisely as it should be.
They reached the end of the opening between the two mountains, and Osheen spun. Cyara did not, letting him face her. She was not ashamed of her actions. She would not hide.
Osheen’s eyes flared, but he did not try to avoid her.
