My brain works out the math, realizing by this point, Shelby wouldn't be pregnant anymore.
“Yes, I should have a baby by now. That is if what she told me were true.”
“So she lied about the pregnancy,” I confirm.
“As soon as she told me, I started contacting all the best doctors we know. We are friends with a lot of doctors. Hell, we own part of the hospital. So I had an appointment booked immediately that week with the best OB in Boston.”
Despite it all, he still cared enough for that. It’s an odd thing to bring tears to my eyes, and yet it does. I blink them away quickly.
“She avoided everything involving the pregnancy. She just kept saying she needed time to process. What she needed was time to come up with another lie.” He rubs the back of his neck. “Her plan failed. I know she wanted to actually get pregnant because she knew that’s how she could lock me in. I could get out of just about anything, and sheknewthat. She knew I was planning to break up with her and formulate a different plan forher father. Pregnancy was the one way to keep me because how could I not stay for my child? But she didn’t get pregnant, and she webbed a lie, catching herself in it instead of me.”
When I finally look up, he’s staring at me, the echo of his pain still prevalent in his stare.
“She took two things from me that day,” he says. “The first time I could have sex with someone without any boundaries, and the first time I’d find out I’m becoming a father. I never really wanted any of those things, so it shouldn’t bother me anyways.”
“And now? Do you want those things now?” I ask.
He smiles as he leans forward on the counter, leveling his face with mine. Just mere inches from my lips.
“Like you wouldn’t believe.”
“Find your way out, Tyler. Find your way out of it.” I meet his gaze.
“Only if you do, too.”
“Then it’s a deal.”
“A promise.” He gives me his pinky.
Smiling, I link my pinky with his. “A promise.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
SUNNY
Steppingout into the cold winter air, I’m hit with the crunch of snow under my shoes and the Christmas lights wrapping the light posts.There’s snow.Which means Christmas is coming. I blink at the lights as the realization dawns on me—it’s already December.
I worked Thanksgiving and went to Tyler’s after for family dinner, so it didn’t feel like a different day. But Christmas…the lights, the music, it’s all a constant reminder that I’m not home with my family. Another reminder that Ryan’s nowhere to be found and no other leads were made known.Nothing.
I’m actually enjoying my time here now, to the point I let time pass without regarding updates at all. And without any update on Ryan since October, it ironically put me at peace. I’mliving. I’m actually moving forward.
Putting a hand to my chest, I realize that empty feeling is still there, but now seems so, so small.
And maybe, maybe this is a step forward.
Just as I took two steps forward, I take five big steps back. Who the fuck was I thinking I could move forward?
I spent the whole day focused on my lack of an update on Ryan. One minute, I think I’m almost whole. In the next breath, I’m plagued by emptiness. The illusion that my life could somehow become better while on the run from a man determined to chase me has dwindled and reality has sucker punched me in the gut. Festering thoughts erode my mind throughout my shift, making it hard to concentrate on my work until I get some sort of update.
On my walk home, I decide to call the detective working my case. He would’ve called anyway if there was an update, right? But to ease my anxious mind, I tap on his contact number.
“Detective Rodriguez, hi Sunny,” he greets me.
“Hi Detective Rodriguez, is now a good time to chat?” My voice shakes.
“Actually yes. I was planning on calling you tomorrow as I know it’s a little later there. But we can speak now since you reached out. I have an update for you.”
Closing my eyes, I feel my heart drop. The world feels like it’s about to cleave in two and I’m going to fall right through the crack.
