“She was super cute, too. You should definitely follow up with that.” Anthony wraps his arm around my shoulders, taking a bite of half of the bagel.
“How about you call her?” I hand him the bag.
He rolls his eyes at me and I laugh, because I know neither of us will call her.
Sam steals the bag from his hand. “Your loss. She’s mine now.”
SUNNY
Nestled into the plush hotel bed, my tired bones start to relax as I scroll through my email about my contract here.
It’s going to be completely different from my small town hospital, but the change feels necessary. I’d been comfortable in that hospital for my two years as a nurse. Prior to that my other years as a CNA.
I was twenty-five when I graduated with my RN, now twenty-seven with a handful of experience. Nothing like what a metro area would provide, but I’m a quick learner. I’m ready for the pace.
As I scroll, I find the email showing my orientation date. My heart drops. It’s been moved totomorrow. Are you kidding me?
I sit up and look around, realizing I barely have anything. Not even a place to live. Originally, I had at least an entire week to get myself settled before orientation. Why the hell did they move it?
Swallowing hard, I grab my phone to fulfill the promise of calling my parents. It’s still really early in Boston, which means it’ll be even earlier in California, but I know they’ll already be tending to the garden and the chickens, getting ready for deliveries produced by the garden.
“Hi honey!” My mother chimes. Her big, blue–green eyes are wide with excitement. The eyes I inherited.
Looking at my round-eyed mother on the screen, my heart squeezes in my chest knowing she’s so far away. I’m so lucky to have such a good relationship with my parents. Most people aren’t as fortunate as I am.
I’m so sorry I had to leave you guys the way I did.
“Hey, mom. I made it safe and sound.” I force a smile. I find it hard to do most days, but for them I will.
“She made it, honey!” Mom yells to my dad.
He approaches the screen, the curls of his dirty blonde hair flecked with salt and pepper falling over his forehead, just like the full mustache that sits on his upper lip. A Tom Selleck stash that my father isveryproud of. His glasses sit on his long, strong nose as he looks at me through them.
“There is our girl,” he says with a wide smile.
Feeling tears sting my eyes, I try and swallow down the knot forming in my throat. I have to keep my composure. I can’t let them see me break more than I already have. It’s torn them apart, I can’t be responsible for more bloodshed.
I just miss you both so much already.
“Hey, dad,” my voice slightly catches. “Have you…heard anything?”
“No sweetie. The police have been all over it, but it looks like Ryan fled town,”
Or is dead.I swallow hard, trying to ignore that pestering voice.Murderer.It whispers.Stalking you.I suck in a breath as I double check the lock on the hotel door while all the what-if’s fester in my mind.
“But sweetie, there is no way he knows where you are. He probably left town like a little coward because he knew he would go to jail. I don’t think we have to worry about him.” My father tries to comfort me, seeing my eyes bounce around the room.
I know that isn’t true, because of course I have to worry about him. It’s why I’m here in Boston in the first place.
Sadness was rarely an emotion I felt. I was always, well, Sunny. But the years of Ryan wore me down, and the day I left was the day that part of me no longer seemed to exist.
Parts of me died because of him.
I know I’ll never get those parts of myself back, but sometimes, I find her in my dreams, trying to cling to who I was. Those nights are far worse than my dreams about him, knowing I’ll never get her back.
I will never be who I should’ve been.
“I’m just so sorry,” I breathe into a cry.
