I run up the stairs and hear his footsteps chasing after me. I search the home for all the shit I left here.
He grabs the back of my neck, yanking me to him and forces me to look at him, a low growl forming in his chest.
“I’m not a good person, Sunny. I never have been, never will be. You all claim me to have a hero-savior complex when inreality I am the fuckingvillain,” he seethes. “A hero, a savior, will sacrifice you for the world, but a villain will sacrifice the world for you. And that’s exactly what I’ll do. I will sacrifice everything for you. I will break every law, every moral, every fucking promise if it means that I can be with you. I don’t plan to change that anytime soon. Not for anyone, and not for you. Because at the end of the day, if I have to break your trust, breakusin order to keep you safe, I fucking will. You fell in love with me knowing all the dark, twisted, depraved parts of me. That was the whole fucking point, Sunny. To make sure you knew every part of me and could love all those parts. And guess what?You do. And I fell in love with you knowing those broken pieces of yours would cut me bleeding. And I still love you.”
I try to shove him off but he grabs me by my bicep.
“Sunny, don’t.” He looks at me, face solemn, tone demanding. “Don’t leave yet. We can’t. We can’t leave like this. We can’t let this one moment change all the memories we have together. We need to talk through this.”
“There isnothingto talk about. You already know every detail of my life. Are you able to read my goddamn mind too? Plant a tracking device in me while I was sleeping? Put cameras in my home?!” I yell.
And he winces. This grown, lethal, predator winces atme.
“Anything I’ve ever done has been to ensure your safety,” he growls.
I step back. He didn’t deny any of those things. What else has he done behind my back that I don’t know of?
“Tell me everything,” I say firmly.
“Sunny…”
“Everything.”
He blows out a shaky breath. “I started researching after the night you told me everything. I made you the promise, and I stopped. But then, I fell in love with you.I fell in love with you, Sunny. And I spiraled from there. The night…the night…” The words die on his tongue. “I texted Cole and told him the hunt was back on, even though it’d never really ended. We crossed that line and I fell more in love with you when I didn’t even think it was possible. We made love and I knew there was no going back. I told you that, Sunny. I’ve been searching this whole time. That’s why I said the promise was broken before it was ever even made.”
“Why did you even make it to begin with?”
“Because you were spiraling, and I didn’t know how else to bring you back.”
“You know, I actually considered staying. I actually fucking considered throwing my plans out the window for a life here with you. With them. But it’s not worth it, not when we keep doing this. This just reaffirms I have to leave because I can’t trust anything, not you, not even myself. Life will go on, after this, after us, Tyler. It may not be the same. But it will go on. And one day, you will get the love you so deserve. The way you should be loved, and you won’t have to fight for it, to save it. You won’t have to break promises to try and keep it. Keep her.”
Because even while my body courses with rage for him right now, my love for him echoes with each beat of my heart, each breath I take.
Clearly I am not capable of matching his love, and he deserves that. All my broken pieces keep cutting him, and this is prevalent. Yet he still wants me to stay, and that’s just something I can’t do.
I can’t give that to you Tyler.
He shakes his head. “Fuck, Sunny!Youare what I want.Youare who I love. It won’t change. My love for you won’t change. Just stay, baby. Just stay until we figure this out.” He presses our foreheads together.
I pull away, leaving the look on his face empty. “No, Tyler. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.” I run my hands through my hair. “I had a plan! Okay, I had a plan and you ruined it. You made mefall in love with you and now we have to do this! It hurts! It fucking hurts so much!” I sob, bringing a shaking hand to my mouth.
“Then love me, Sunny! Love me and stop fucking running. Love me and let me fucking love you!”
“It’s not that simple.” I shake my head. “You can’t try and write over this ending that has been written in ink on paper for us.”
“Then I will rip out the pages and write an entirely different one.” He steps into me.
“You knew,” I seethe. “You knew my plan. You knew I was leaving, and you still made me love you!”
We never really fought before. Not like this.
Never like this.
There’s no point. There’s absolutely no point in this because we are going in circles.
“We can’t keep going back and forth like this, Tyler. You are right. We fell in love. We knew the end. It’s here, Tyler. The end is here, and we just have to accept it.”
I feel my stomach churn at our words. At the look on his face. The desperation that hangs in the air between us. The devastation slowly coming about to wreck both of us.
