I tried.I tried to put up a fight, but it was pathetic. I was disoriented and weak from the lack of oxygen and a fifteen hour day on my feet.
“I’m going to fucking show you who you belong to,” he seethed as he started to undo the belt on his jeans.
The realization dawned on me.
“Ryan, no! Stop, stop, stop, stop!” I pleaded underneath his weight.
Tears cascaded down my face, sobs clawed at my throat as I tried to move anywhere that wasn’t underneath him. But his grip was unforgiving, despitehis wifebegging him to stop.
He started pulling my scrub pants down, untying the draw string and ripping them down my hips, exposing me to his anger and intrusion.
His hand was bruising my wrists, fighting against my fight. Refusing to listen to my pleas and cries. They meant nothing to him.Imeant nothing to him.
I was screaming, but it was like I wasn’t even saying anything at all.
“No! Please, Ryan.Please,” I cried.
The look in his eyes was terrifying. It was vengeance for something I had never even done.
He was so far gone. He could never come back from this.We could never come back from this.
Never in my life had I cried the way I did that night.I was unrecognizable.
I almost gave up. I almost let him take over my body. Violate it in a way no person should experience. Small cries escaped my mouth as he started to lean over me and pulled my underwear down next.
I tried to clench my thighs together so that he couldn’t force himself in me, but he only dug his knees into my thighs harder, making me scream louder.
“You will learn your goddamn lesson about fucking around,” He seethed. “I’m going to fuck you so hard no man will ever want you. You will be ruined by me, Sunny. You’ll be so ruined that no one will ever love you or want you.”
And all in one moment, everything I was desecrated.
A guttural scream clawed up my throat as he simultaneously ripped through my body. How would I ever recover from this?I wouldn’t.This wound would fester until it killed me.
That’s when I summed up any energy I had left, and I knocked my head straight into his. His nose cracked and his head flew back. Blood from his nose splattered my face and he released my hands. I kicked him in the chest, sending him falling back.
I immediately rolled off my back and started pulling my pants back up, crawling away from underneath him.
Ruthless fingers grabbed my hair, picking me off the ground and slamming me against a wall. The thud of my own head smacking the wall was sickening and dizzying. When he finally faced me, his eyes were black with rage.
I don’t recognize you.
The force of the blow had me stepping in and out of consciousness. In the times I was aware, I’d blink through the blood that coated my face to try and understand my surroundings.
“You make me so angry, Sunny. You shouldn’t lie to me. I love you too much. Tell me the truth.” He was shaking me now, awakening me from the brief relief of him.
It’d never been like this. There was no amount of reminiscing on the good times to cure this bad one. This bad one outweighed all the good ones.
We can’t come back from this, Ryan. We never will.
I finally blinked away the blackness and blood. His incessant shaking of my body and screaming made it hard to think, but still, the words filtered through in a silent cry.Get out.
It was when he started to pull my pants down again, taking advantage of my unconscious state, that the words screamed through the bloody haze.
GET. OUT.
Summing up whatever energy I had left, I swung my fist, clocking him right in the temple and knocking him out. In his fall, he took me down with him. Unwillingly, my body landed on his and instinct had me scrambling of him to see he was unconscious.
A moment for me to get my composure, even with the blood covered eyes and shaking arms. The words whispered desperately in my mind.
