Realization dawns on her as my words linger in the air between us, the torrential downpour of it all a threat right above us.
If she’s going to run, then I’m going to fucking chase her.
And I will catch her.
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
SUNNY
I love you.
The words echo in my mind, no longer a silent understanding but an outspoken declaration. They embroider across my heart with that invisible string between us, branding it as his, regardless of the fact it never belonged to me in the first place.
We’ll always be like parallel lines, so close,always so close, but never together because honest feelings and bad timing make the most painful combination to exist.
“What?” I breathe, meeting his eyes, regardless of the fact he is loud and clear.
“Sunny.” He tries to reel back.
“No.” I put a hand up to stop him. “You’re in love with me.” I wish the more I say it, the less it’ll be true.
Rubbing a hand over his face, he looks back up at me and lets out a small, humorless chuckle. “That’s an understatement.”
The truck feels like it’s closing in on me. It feels so fucking hot. My clothes feel suffocating, no matter the heavy breaths I keep taking. And I feel the urge to do what I always do best.
Run.
“Sunny, please,” he begs as he puts the truck in park.
“I need air.” I open the door, rushing out and slamming it shut behind me.
And I run.
I run all the way to the end of the massive parking lot that seems too big to belong in Boston. I hear him chasing after me, footsteps hitting the ground in a desperate attempt to keep me. I don’t care, because I need to get far away. As if going farther away will make him love me less.
“Sunny, stop please!”
Halting with a hand on my chest, I try to suck in air but I can’t fucking breathe. These feelings are so big that they are crushing me.
“When?” I turn back to him. “How long, Tyler?”
He swallows hard. “Does it matter?”
“Very much so.”
He shifts on his feet and looks at me finally. “I knew I was in love with you when I realized I could never love anyone else. Even just the thought is simply impossible.”
Biting my cheek, I try to force the tears back down that want to sting my eyes. “It was before everything, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah.” He nods. “I knew the night I came over when you were sick. So yes.” He looks up to the gray sky.
There can no longer be any more rainy days for us because there can no longer be an us. If I had known.If I had known.
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this.” I shake my head.
“I am not capable of being casual with you, Sunny.I am not capable of being casual with you,” he emphasizes. He takes a cautious step towards me. “Sunny, you have given me a reason to keep breathing. I am a man willing to admit that I cannot exist in a life without you,” he exhales a shaky breath. “Because without you, I am nothing but skin, bones and a heart that has no purpose to beat at all. All of you belongs to me, just as all of me belongs to you.”
I break his gaze, unable to hold myself under the severity of it.
