SUNNY
With a sigh,he grips the steering wheel, head hanging between his shoulders. Like he can no longer withstand the weight of my words. When he looks at me, I see the devastation that hits him. It flexes in the muscles of his jaw and strains the tendons in his neck.
“Sunny, no. Don’t do this. Don’t fucking do this.” Each word builds with anger.
I wince, despite the fact I’m the reason behind this. Immediately his tone calms, and he runs a shaky hand through his hair.
“Please, Sunny, let me help you. I have the best lawyers. I have the best security.I am the goddamn best. We can make this better and even if you don’t stay here, at least you can just stop running and living in fear.” He presses his palms together, as if he’s sending a prayer up to whatever that will take his offer.
I’d considered it. For a brief moment in one of my panics, the idea of having someone like Tyler to bring me justice and find the man I’ve been running from sounded poetic. But then I remembered what he’d told me about Mitchell and the ever growing list of hits he’s forced onto his son. Although Tyler willnever admit it, I know it haunts him at night. Who could he have been had it not been for Mitchell?
I’d spent so long somehow dependent on a man, and I’m not going to do it again. I shake my head slowly indicating my no.
“Believe it or not, my parents do not control every aspect of my life, Sunny. Me utilizing our resources doesn’t give me a life sentence. And don’t act like because I’d do this for you that I haven’t done it before or wouldn’t again. I’ve killed people, Sunny. Ryan won’t be my fucking first.”
It’s a sucker punch to the gut, hearing the words so violently from his mouth. It's always been an unspoken thing, a silent understanding, much like a lot of what we have. Breathing those words to life only anchors my decision.
“He may not be your first, but I won’t be responsible for making you add to your list. I see what it does to you, Tyler. I will not be the person responsible for that.”
“The damage is done, Sunny! The damage is fucking done.” He hits a fist on the steering wheel. “It’s no one’s job but mine to live with the choices I’ve made. You think it bothers me? It fucking doesn’t. It’s what I was made to do. It’s who he built me to be. I am not some good person who does bad things. I am a bad fucking person who does bad things. Stop trying to justify my actions with remorse that doesn’t exist.”
“It’s no one’s job but mine to live with the choices I’ve made! Tyler, it was no secret that I’m leaving and whatever the hell this is would come to an end. You and I both know that.” I’m not going to allow him to make me feel guilty for this. I already feel guilty enough.
“What I can’t wrap around my head is why you won’t let me fucking help you,” he growls.
“Because it is no one’s job but my own to help me!” I yell, my arms spread out. I can’t get why he can’t wrap it around his fucking head. “Sam was right, you do have a savior complex.”
His jaw flexes as his grip tightens on the steering wheel.Good.I need to make this unforgivable.
That way he will finally let me go.
TYLER
She looks so small, so fucking small in that passenger seat. I blow out a breath, trying to calm my trembling hands and harsh voice.
She’s trying to run, but I’ll be damned before I ever stop chasing her.
“Sunny, stop. I know what you’re doing. It doesn’t matter what you say, I will not stop trying for you. And you can drop the miss independent act, okay? You don’t have to keep fighting alone.”
She sits there with a blank look on her face, trying to put a façade up. Covering the emotions I know are trying to burst out of her. My little fire tries her best to put her own flame out. It’s what Ryan groomed her to do, but it doesn’t fucking work with me.
“Baby, you have to stop holding onto it. Just let it go. Let go and live your life,” I say, gentler as I trace a finger along her jawline.
She swallows hard at my touch. “And where do I put it down, Tyler? What do I do with it?” her voice cracks.
Her pain is my pain.
“Give it to me, baby. Give it to me if it means it will set you free.” I cup her face. “Give your body and mind rest and let me handle it. Let me take care of you.”
She contemplates, but then something switches, and the flames erupt. “I’m not just some broken thing for you to fixTyler, okay! So you can just stop already,” she snaps, jerking her face from my grip.
I can’t even stop the words before they leave my mouth, much like the night they first came out.
I couldn’t stop it then. I can’t fucking stop it now.
“I’m not trying to fix you Sunny, I’m trying to love you!” I yell.
I run my hands over my face again, because I know what I did. What I said is going to send her running faster than she’d been from Ryan. These words are going to scare her shitless because they scare me shitless, too.
