Sam huffs a laugh. “Yes, let me not tell him the truth and instead just tell him a downright lie so that he’ll be angry at Sam and love me more. Smooth, Macey.”
“Hey!” Cole snaps.
“Oh please.” Sam waives. “The fact you’re still taking her side tells me everything.” She rolls her eyes and turns where Tyler and I stand, her amber eyes ablaze with an anger so hot I’m worried we will physically be burned.
“It’s one thing to have a crush, but it’s another to have a full blown whatever the fuck you guys are and hide it from only me.” Sam huffs. “Clearly, I am not let in on a lot of things in this group and it shows.” With that, Sam leaves the rooftop and Anthony follows after her.
I shift on my feet, unsure of what to do. Give her space or go after her. This somehow ended up as an involuntary attack on her.
“Thanks for deflecting,” Tyler grumbles to Cole.
“It needed to be done, anyways. It hasn’t been fair to Macey having to watch Sam’s continuous flirtation with me. And clearly there were some things that needed to be aired out.” He puts an arm around Macey, who again melts in his embrace. Thankful this didn’t end what they had going for so long. “We have a lot we need to go talk about,” he says to Macey, guiding her away from the mess.
I feel a hollowness in me, a longing to finally be able to give into something like that with Tyler. I wish that it could be as simple as that for us, but it isn’t.
Not with all the dark and broken parts of me.
“Oh god.” I place my face in my hands.
How much longer can I do this? Being a girl on the run means no roots, and this is proof of the pain that it’ll cause when they are pulled.
My best friend is hurt. Tyler is going to be hurt. Cole and Macey are fighting for a relationship that just barely became public.
I didn’t fuckingthink.
Tyler sighs, wrapping an arm around me. “Talk about ringing in the new year with a fucking bang.”
After much deliberation, we decided to give Sam the time she needed. In our wait, Tyler and I sit by the fire while Cole and Macey hash things out. From a distance, their words are muffled but their reactions are not.
I’m not aware of what was said, but a lot of hand slashing, tears, raised voices and laughs are shared all to be sealed with a kiss that made things look up for the new couple.
We sit quietly by the fire as they approach holding hands, and make themselves comfortable. With Tyler’s chest to my back and my head in the crook of his neck, the anger my heart once felt has calmed to a quiet. He is warmth, salt and citrus and everything I want to belong to me that I’ll never allow myself to fully have.
His laughter rumbles through me, the vibrations of it running along my skin and rattling my bones as I sit here casually with him.
I hate that I like this with you, Tyler.
A conversation is held between Tyler and Cole, as if nothing happened just thirty minutes prior. As if nothing in this moment matters right now except this small, safe space where the four of us no longer have to hide.
Without second thought, his callused hands gently caress my bare skin. A gentle kiss is pressed to the top of my head with a subtle inhale, no doubt his memorization of what I smell like so intimately close.
And for now, I don’t want to leave this spot, this moment, and that scares me shitless because Ihaveto. I have to leave, and he has to stay. That’s our reality.
I can’t keep doing this.
Standing to my feet, I immediately feel the void of where he was. Thelackof him.
“What’s wrong?” He asks, his arms still open as if I were there. Is that what it’ll be like when I leave? A void nothing can replace left inside him?
“I need to go talk to Sam,” I say, still standing with the blanket wrapped around myself.
“Do you want me to come?” Tyler offers, standing up.
“No,” I immediately say with a hand up. “I need to do this alone.”
“Okay.” He nods. I wasn’t Switzerland per say, but I’m closer to it than Tyler is.
“I’ll come back up once I’m done,” I say. “And Mace, you need to, also. Okay? You’re sisters. You need to figure this out.”
