That sound, and the gratitude in Sadia’s eyes once they open again, cause me to sit back against the sofa and dig into my food. Unlike Sadia, I hold in my reaction as the flavors dance on my tongue. Ramona did her thing with this potato, and I will be utilizing her services again. Either the food is good, or Sadia and I have nothing to discuss, because silence ensues aswe eat. Once we’re done, Sadia sighs, and I chuckle at her look of contentment.
“You good?”
“Mhm. It’s going to be hard to finish this paper. But it’s my last one, and I have to get it done.”
Pride dances within me at the knowledge of that information.
“Oh, for real? You’re done after this?”
A pleased smile upturns Sadia’s lips, and my heart skips a beat from the action.
“I am.”
“That’s what’s up. I’m so proud of you, Dia. Get back to your paper. I’ll be here when you’re done.”
With that, Sadia nods and shifts her body before she pulls the laptop onto her lap. I smile before I pull her feet into my lap and remove her socks, then I slowly massage her left foot. My eyes go to the TV as I sigh with ease because this moment is the perfect way to end my day.
“Girl,if you don’t stop crying, I’m going to let you go out of this house looking like a raccoon,” Alicia fusses.
Today is the day that my two years of hard work finally pays off. It’s graduation day. My emotions have been all over the place since I picked up my cap and gown a week ago. Tears have found their way to my face ever since, and I’m struggling to keep it together. This is the moment I have prayed for, and excitement blends with sadness.
Dad will be in the audience; the woman I’ve been working so hard to make happy won’t be. The knowledge of my mother’s absence hits me like a ton of bricks, even more today than any other. I have never met my mother, so I’m not sure why this moment feels like it’s suffocating me, but it is. I’ve gotto get myself together because it’s almost time to head to the convention center, where graduation is being held.
“It’s going to be great, bestie. Please stop crying,” Alicia pleads.
“Okay. Okay. I think I got them all out now,” I say.
Alicia and I engage in a stare-down as comfort shines in her eyes, and somehow, the longer our eyes meet, the calmer I become. My phone vibrates just as Alicia nods and goes through the process of once again reapplying my makeup. This is the third time she’s done it, and I can imagine her frustration with me. I lift my phone from my lap and open my text app to see a new message from my man.
My man. Wow. It’s crazy how things have changed in such a short time. I have a man and am about to get my degree . . . God is awesome.
Chance:
I know you’re probably getting ready to head to the convention center. But I want to be the first to say, congratulations. I'm so fucking proud of you, Dia. You did that shit!
Chance doesn’t know how hard my journey has been or the work it’s taken to keep pressing forward. But damn if my chest doesn’t stretch and my heartbeat accelerates when I read his words.
“Now, I’ve been in here trying to quarterback your mood all day, and you get one text and all of a sudden you’re good. Hm. I don’t know if I should high-five or slap your man for doing what I couldn’t today.”
A lopsided smile upturns my lips as my eyes shift from my phone to Alicia.
“Who said it was my man?”
“The light in your eyes and the rosiness of your cheeks. It’s all the confirmation I need.”
I laugh, with no further commentary, because she’s effectively identified the person responsible for my swift change in disposition. Time flies faster than I’d like, and before long, it’s time for me to head to the graduation location. Alicia insisted that she and I go together, and with my jittery nerves, I realize that’s a great idea. The drive downtown on a Sunday afternoon isn’t as congested as it would be on a Saturday, so it takes us no time to arrive.
“Oh shit!” Alicia says that when we turn the corner, and vehicles are everywhere, leading up to the garage we need to park in.
“Maybe we should have left a little earlier.” I chew on my inner cheek as my eyes bounce around the area at all the people and vehicles in the vicinity.
Thanks to the commotion and overflow of people, I have to practically run to the room where all of the graduates gather. Unlike a high school ceremony, college students don’t get the courtesy of a rehearsal, so I’m not sure where I’m supposed to be. Adrenaline rushes through my body as I find someone who can direct me. Luckily for me, there are individuals in place specifically for that reason, so I’m in my spot within fifteen minutes. Students stand around talking to one another, but all I can do is take in the chaotic atmosphere.
Some people are on their phones, while others are fixing their gowns. Not too far from me, a woman applies her makeup before she puts on her kitten heels. Her greasy ginger hair looks like it needs to be washed, as it hangs limp on her shoulders. Next to her is a man with locs that have seen better days if the two inches of new growth are any indication. People enter and exit the room at a rapid, distracting pace, making my eyesbounce around like a ping-pong ball. There’s so much going on that it actually allows my nerves to settle just a little bit.
“Alright, everyone. It’s time for us to lead you out. Please get in your places, and we’ll get started as soon as we’re given the go-ahead,” a woman near the door shouts, and the room automatically quiets.
Oh God! This is it. This is what I’ve been working toward.
