“Why didn’t Emmett get the job?” interjected Abby, lips red with the dregs of her second glass of wine.
Aaron faltered. “Oh, well. You know what a crapshoot hiring can be.”
She shrugged, her expression obstinate. “Not really.”
“Ab,” Emmett said.
“Just wondering. It sounds like something Emmett would be perfect for.”
“I got promoted at work. I got Aaron. It all worked out like it was supposed to.” Emmett’s expression was a wordlessShut up. This was why he didn’t let Abby into his life more. There was no predicting whether she was going to be on his side or dead set against him. Her loyalty seemed to change minute to minute.
He needed the restroom but held off as the entrées were delivered, the arrival of a pound and a half of bloody meat overwhelming all other bodily urges. He could hardly control himself, wolfing down the steak in ragged, sawed-off chunks, welcoming the discomfort of his fullness. Fullness but not satisfaction. His hunger was abating, but somehow his craving for meat intensified. He might even need to stop somewhere on the way home.
Finally, the steak stripped to the bone and his plate all but clean, Emmett excused himself for the men’s room.
He ran through a list of convenient fast-food options in his head as he peed: Jack in the Box, McDonald’s, a handful of taco shops. None of them appealed like they usually did. His body yearned for something else. He couldn’t put a finger on what.
Finished, he washed his hands and pushed open the door, halting at the sight of a thin, dark-haired woman darting away as if she’d been standing right outside the door. “Abby?” he called out. She didn’t answer, practically running back to the table.
With a cold wave of realization, he strode after her, his fists clenched.
“What the hell?” he said as he rejoined the table.
“What?” Abby avoided his eye, taking her fork back up and picking at her food.
“Don’t pretend. You were listening outside the bathroom door, weren’t you? Spying on me.”
Mark laughed, then said, “Were you?”
Cheekbones jutted through her tight, agitated expression. She leaned back and took a deep slug of wine. “I’m sorry, okay? But when your brother drops a hundred pounds in three months, binges a huge meal,then immediately runs to the bathroom, what am I supposed to think? That’s textbook bulimic behavior.”
“You would know,” Emmett said, plunging the table into shocked silence.
“Hey now,” Mark said.
“No. She’s been making jabs at me all night. It’s totally hypocritical.Ihave an eating disorder? I’m not the one they used to call Abirexia in high school.”
Jayla gasped and Shivani dropped her fork. They regarded Abby with stunned concern before she got up and hurried away from the table.
Jayla and Shivani followed.
An awful silence stretched before the men, guilt knotting Emmett’s guts. He had taken it too far, only meant to give her a taste of her own medicine.
“What was that about, Emmett?” Mark said, angrier than Emmett had ever heard him.
“Look, I’m sorry but—”
“You don’t say stuff like that. Not to a woman.”
The words touched a nerve, with a jolt of pain. “Fuck off,” he spat, snatching to his feet so violently that a water glass spilled. He didn’t pause to right it, already striding toward the exit.
“Have a good night,” the hostess called after him uncertainly as he charged past her station and fled into the parking lot.
Emotion inched up on him as he walked to his car. The moment he’d climbed in and shut the door, he burst into tears.
He didn’t understand it, or how he’d behaved in the restaurant. A few months ago he would’ve felt so uncomfortable in a place like that he would’ve made himself as small as possible, ordered the cheapest, smallest dish, and swallowed down every bit of criticism his sister threw at him. More and more he found himself behaving in ways that didn’t feel like him, hurting the people closest to him. He’d said something shitty to Lizette the other night and had to grovel for her forgiveness.
Then again, maybe they deserved it. All his life he’d been made to feel monstrous. He’d struggled for years, largely without his friends’ and family’s support, and now that he was finally breaking free—finally becoming the best version of himself—all they could do was tear him down.
