As my breathing grew faster, I tightened my hold on the one thing that always helped. The one who had always been by my side. That Jack hadn’t taken away yet. My biggest fear was he would, he liked to threaten to do it. He’d learned very quickly it was my weakest spot. Threaten Kimori and I’d cave into nearly any demand he made.
I held Kimori to my chest, burying my face against the top of her head, the crocheted horns a familiar brush against my skin. Closing my eyes, I imagined the room I’d had at Pieces to Peace. Imagined I was back there, safe and free.
Sensing I was no longer alone, I cringed as I glanced over to see who had come into my room now. I feared the monster had returned and this time he would take Kimori from me. When I saw it was Joe, relief had my muscles relaxing, but I didn’t loosen my hold on Kimori.
“Oh, little darlin’, you don’t have time to stand around. Jack’s in a right state. He really will drag you out of here with nothing if we don’t get packed up.”
While Joe worked for Jack, he was nothing like his boss. His accent had me thinking he was from Texas because of how similar to those at Pieces to Peace he sounded. He always followed Jack’s orders without question, but he wasn’t cruel about it. Didn’t repeat his boss’s harsh words or insults. He also offered me moments of kindness that I cherished. Like bringing me books he’d borrow from the library for me. I often got to daydreaming about what my life would have looked like had Joe been my father, or stepfather.
He moved over to the wardrobe, slid the door open and lifted the top shirt off the small pile. Dr. Stringer had gotten them for me. They were made from a bamboo-cotton fabric that was the softest thing I’d ever had against my skin. Once she’d seen how much I’d loved it, she’d gotten me several of them in various colors. But my favorite was that first bright purple one,which Joe now held in his left hand as he reached back into the wardrobe with his right. Adding a fluffy knit sweater in a lighter shade of purple, he then went to my pile of pants. Not grabbing the top pair, he moved a few until he found my favorite pair. Tears stung my eyes with the knowledge that he’d noticed. This pair was a little lighter from being washed so much. They were soft and fit perfectly. They also had a button fly which made them even more perfect. Zips made a horrible noise when being done up or undone. A shiver ran down my spine just thinking about it.
Stepping away from the wardrobe to face me, he left the door open.
“Come over and pick out a pair of panties and bra. Then go shower and get dressed. I’ll leave out a pair of socks and your shoes when I pack up your things for you while you get ready.”
Even knowing I didn’t have much time and needed to rush, my thoughts kept spiraling off track. After running me through a bunch of tests, Dr. Stringer had explained that I had AuDHD, a mix of autism and ADHD. That it was normal for my mind to wander like it did. She’d worked with me to find some strategies to help corral them. The meds had helped a lot and being able to set reminders in my phone had been really useful. There were other things too, but after eighteen months of living in fear of Jack and his moods, I struggled to remember what they were now.
Focusing on Joe’s clear instructions, I was able to get myself moving over to the open wardrobe. Keeping my hold tight on Kimori, I pulled out a drawer and took the top pair of panties and bra. While I had several pairs of both, they were all exactly the same so I never had to stress over deciding which one to wear. Another trick Dr. Stringer had taught me.
Turning toward Joe, I reached for the stack of clothing he held out. Looking at his mouth, I blinked back tears and gavehim a small smile, the most I could manage. It was also the closest I could come to saying thank you. I’d been able to speak at Pieces to Peace, not much and only to a few people, but I’d been beginning to trust the world around me. That had shattered when I’d been brought back here. I’d not said a single word since I’d been forced into Jack’s big black SUV outside Pieces to Peace.
Joe sighed, sadness lacing the sound.
“Wish I could do more, little darlin’. This doesn’t feel like much at all. You deserve so much better than what life has dished, and continues to dish out your way, Calla.”
A few tears slipped down my cheeks as, with my head lowered, I slunk into the en-suite bathroom that was way too big and bright with its white walls and automatic lighting. Ignoring the mirror, I set Kimori and my clothes on the bench beside the sink, staring into her black plastic eyes while sending my thoughts her way.
Well, Kimori, looks like we’re on the move again.
My little dragon just sat there, not that I expected anything different. Sighing, I stripped off and walked over to the shower. Flipping the tap on and refusing to think about where I was being taken to this time, I waited for the water to heat.
Thanks to my wandering thoughts earlier, I’d missed whatever Jack had said before he’d gotten mad and told me I had twenty minutes. Although, knowing how much the man liked to torment me, he probably hadn’t said where he was taking me anyhow. That monster got way too much enjoyment out of seeing me frustrated. Loved using my inevitable meltdown from him pushing me too far into overwhelm as an excuse to sedate me or slap then physically restrain me.
I couldn’t work out why Jack did what he did with me. He clearly hated me and had been quick to send me away when I’d first been brought here after my rescue. So why then had he ordered me returned to him in Denver? Because these lasteighteen months hadn’t done anything but prove how much he still didn’t like me. It made no sense. Why not leave me at Pieces to Peace? Did he hate me so much that the thought of me being happy had him determined to ruin it?
Even though I stood under hot water, a chill raced down my spine. Rawhide Ranch Research Facility. The place he’d been threatening me with for months now. Is that where he was sending me? Turning off the water, I stumbled out onto the mat and blindly grabbed for the towel. Panic took over as every instinct I had told me I was right. That my stepfather was planning on handing me over to be a lab rat.
Dressing quickly, my hands shook as I ran the brush through my hair. I needed to escape. To run away. I’d head south, eventually I’d make it to Texas. Hopelessness threatened to overwhelm me, to send me to my knees and weep. I knew how stupid that plan was. How was I going to get anywhere when I couldn’t speak? But it didn’t matter. I had less than ten minutes to work out a way to get out of the house and away from Jack. Once I was free, I’d work out how the hell I was going to get myself to Texas.
Chapter Three
Eric
Pain and anger mixed and swirled in my mind. A big part of me wanted to simply hang up and never speak to Jacqui again, but an even bigger part wanted to know what rumors she’d heard so that I could correct the misinformation before it spread further and potentially damaged all that Derek and his friends and family had worked so hard to build here.
Not bothering to even try to soften my tone as the woman deserved it, I answered her question. Even though both of us knew I’d already told her before what happened here. We’d discussed it at length before I’d taken the job and moved to Montana.
“As you are well aware, the entirety of Rawhide Ranch is built on the premise of offering safety to those who need it. The research center is no different. It’s the newest addition to the Ranch, and while it’s still in its infancy and growing, it already has a solid reputation for delivering results. At this stage, we’re spending a lot of our time looking into existing research, then expanding on it or taking it in different directions. Everything we do is about finding ways to help neurodiverse people live their best lives. Nothing we do causes any harm toa patient. There are no physical restraints, or pharmaceutical ones. Everything we do is with the full consent of all involved. I wouldneverinjure anyone, especially not an innocent. I can’t believe you would accuse me of such a thing. That I’m having to defend myself to you of all people. What the hell, Jacqui?”
After a few moments, with sadness lacing her words, she responded, “I’m sorry, Eric. I really am, I didn’t mean to question your integrity. Deep down I know you wouldn’t ever do anything harmful to another person. You’re a good doctor, I know that. It’s just, well, I had to be sure. I should have spent more time working through this before I called, but I wasn’t sure I had time. Even so, I know better. I really am sorry.”
Her voice cracked as she finished. This didn’t make any sense at all. The woman I’d come to know knew the importance of not rushing into any situation without thought. I was well aware that just because she was a shrink didn’t make her perfect, didn’t stop her from being as human as her patients, but still, it was very unlike her to speak like she had. Needing to move, I got back out of 004 and began pacing between my car and the forest at the edge of the small rest stop.
“What the hell is going on that has you calling me like this? It’s not like you, and you damn well know me better than to even think I’d do what you’ve just implied I have.”
“You’re right. And I really am sorry. It’s about a former patient. Eric, promise me you’ll hold what I tell you in confidence. I don’t like breaking rules, and I never would if I didn’t believe it was necessary. However, I believe this young woman is in grave danger.”
Shock had me stilling, staring down the winding road as I processed what she was telling me. “If she’s at Rawhide, then she’s about as safe as she can be. The main gate is the only way in or out, and it’s manned twenty-four/seven. Derek is damn serious about security and keeping all those in his care safe.”
