Eric’s low chuckle short circuited my brain and had me turning until I was looking into his smirking face, with his perfectly straight nose, his soft beard and dark pink lips. Lips that had kissed me. Three times last night he’d pressed kisses to the top of my head. Peace had flowed from him through me each time. How would it feel if he kissed my mouth?
“Sweet girl, did you just check to see if you were dreaming?”
Heat scorched over my cheeks as I cleared my throat, then holding Kimori tight against my chest, buried my face against her. My thoughts racing, I acknowledged I wasn’t dreaming. This place, Rawhide Ranch, where everyone was so nice, where I wasn’t just accepted but welcomed, was a real place.
And Eric was real. Everything he’d done for me hadn’t been my imagination.
Doubts crept in, my breathing picked up. Surely not everyone here would be as sweet and kind as Eric and Moses. It wasn’t possible, was it? Would Derek be nice, friendly? He had met with Jack yesterday. My stepfather would have told him all sorts of lies, and the man was a politician who had gotten to where hehad because he could be very charming when he needed to be. If Jack had realized this place was good, he’d never have left me here. Did that mean Derek was more like Jack than Eric? My heartbeat thundered in my ears. Would Derek tell me this morning that he’d be sending me back to Denver? Tears trekked down my cheeks. I wouldn’t go back. I’d break free and run. Live in the forest…
My thoughts cut off when Eric scooped me up against his chest, his citrusy-peppery scent surrounding me as he started walking. My mind filled with fog until he set me down on one side of a couch, before kneeling on the floor in front of me. I couldn’t look at him, not right now. Instead I glanced around to see where he’d taken me. The couch was just inside the hallway, from here I could see nearly all of the huge lobby that had way too many people moving around within the space. My gaze bounced around between them all, checking if anyone was watching me, then taking in the huge stone fireplace that reached all the way up to the ceiling that was made up of timber logs all lined up. Moses walking past the outside of the big windows along the front had my attention going there next. Outside was big. Mountains rose in the distance, huge trees closer.
Too much. There was too much of everything.
I struggled to breathe, to get air in and out of my lungs. Tears left hot streaks down my cheeks and I tightened my grip on Kimori as my mind became jumbled chaos.
“Calla, you’re safe. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.” He cupped my cheek in his palm, pressing gently until I faced him, my gaze locking on his familiar mouth. His hand slipped from my cheek, both his palms were now on the outside of my thighs, warmth from his touch passing through my jeans like they weren’t there. “You’re not dreaming, my sweet girl. You are really here at Rawhide Ranch, and this place is aswonderful as it sounds. I know it’s a lot to take in, to accept. It’s natural that you’ll get overwhelmed, especially in the beginning. There’s so many people you don’t know yet, new places, and you’ll soon be given options to choose between them for what you want to do next. Each of those things are big by themselves, put them all together and anyone would freak out. Everyone will be fine, they’ll understand if it all gets a bit too much for you sometimes. We’re gonna take this at your pace, Calla. However slow you need, is what we’ll do. And the sensory room is there ready for you whenever you need it. No judgment. You don’t ever need to be afraid to ask for what you need. Would you like to go there now?”
His palms were moving, slow strokes up and down the outside of my thighs, his touch soothing, helping to settle my mind enough I could think straight. Lifting the necklace, I chewed on the tip while I ran my gaze over the lobby again before returning it to Eric’s mouth, then shook my head. Eric had shown me a map after we’d eaten breakfast, explaining where various things were, including Derek’s office and the sensory room, which were on opposite sides of the lobby. To get to Derek’s office from here, we’d walk across the rear of the room, close to the wall and not in the open. From the sensory room we’d need to walk across the middle of the open space, or all the way around the outside. As great as the sensory room was, it wasn’t worth the cost in this moment. And I didn’t honestly need it, not with how Eric had managed to intercept my meltdown before it had even really started. The man really did have some sort of magic.
“Okay, we’ll just stay here for a bit then.”
Rising from the floor, he moved to sit beside me. Since he’d set me on the side closest to the lobby, I had to turn my back on the busy lobby to face him. Clever man, always thinking of little things that often made a big difference.
“I was thinking it would be a good idea if we had some code words, so you can ask for help when you need it without feeling like you need to explain anything. Does that sound good?”
Tilting my head to the side, I frowned. Code words? How would giving me words I wouldn’t be able to say help?
“I’m sure you noticed how Moses, the man you met last night, was using his hands to talk with me. He’s deaf and, like you, non-verbal so he uses ASL to communicate. He can also lip read. How do you feel about learning some sign language?”
Watching Moses sign last night had been a marvel. I’d even wondered if I could get him to teach me. Now here Eric was offering that very thing. He really was magic. I nodded my desire to learn.
With a smile, he kept speaking. “Great. I really think learning ASL will help you going forward. And because Moses is here, nearly everyone knows at least some signs, so you’ll always be able to find someone who will understand what you need to say.”
A sense of awe left me lightheaded for a few moments. I’d thought Pieces to Peace was wonderful, hadn’t imagined anything could be better than there. But the more I learned about Rawhide Ranch, the more I realized how wrong I’d been. Everything about this place felt like it was too good to be true.
Eric continued and I forced my mind to focus on him. “I want to suggest we use the traffic light system to help you express how you’re feeling. Giving me the sign for green will let me know you’re doing well, are happy. Yellow will let me know you’re starting to get overwhelmed, but not spiraling into a meltdown yet. If I see you sign yellow, I’ll know I have about five to ten minutes to deal with whatever is going on. To either make where you currently are safer for you, or to take you somewhere else that’s calming and quiet. Signing red will mean that you’re about to melt down, that you’ve been pushed too far past your limits. Red is your own personal nine-one-one. It’s telling me you needto escape right now. That’s when I’ll pick you up and head straight for the sensory room, or some other safe place right away. How does that sound?”
With an excited smile, I nodded then set Kimori down next to me on the couch to free up my hands.
“Excellent. Okay, let’s start with the most important one: red. This one is nice and simple. You take your right index finger.” He held up his finger in front of his face as he spoke. “And you tap your fingertip on your chin right below your lower lip and swipe it down like this. You do the movement just once to say red, but Calla, if you’re feeling really anxious, you can keep signing red for as long as you want.”
It had looked like he was stroking his chin down the center. I lifted my hand and followed his instructions.
Pride swelled in my chest when he smiled, with an enthusiastic nod, “That’s it. Perfect. Right, now yellow. For this one, you hold your right hand up in front of you and make a fist but keep your thumb and pinkie finger out like this. Then you twist your hand a couple of times.”
Again he did the movement as he spoke and once he finished, I copied him. Frowning, it took me a minute to get my ring finger to stay down while my little was still up. I’d need to practice this one.
“You’re doing so well, sweet girl. One more to learn for now. Green. Make a fist like you did for yellow, but this time make a G shape with your thumb and index finger.” I copied how he held his hand. “That’s it. Now twist your wrist, like with yellow. Yep, that’s it.”
Elation bubbled within me as I ran through all three signs a few times. Thanks to Eric I now had a way to communicate when I was struggling, one that wouldn’t cause me even more overwhelm. In the past, it had often been trying to tell someone I was struggling that had pushed me over the edge into ameltdown. Eric had just taught me, in under ten minutes, the perfect solution. I’d be making sure I practiced them often until I had them so deep in my memory, I’d do them automatically when I needed to.
Happy tears stung my eyes. Coming to Rawhide Ranch was turning out to be a wonderful dream come true, rather than the nightmare Jack had me convinced it would be. A rush of pure elation surged through me, and I threw myself at Eric, my arms encircling his neck as I hugged him tightly to me. He must not have expected it as he stiffened for a moment before he relaxed and wrapped his arms around my back, holding me as tightly as I was him. Nuzzling my face into his neck, I sighed at the tickle of his soft beard brushing against my cheek. One of his hands slid up until his fingers reached my neck where he started gently massaging the tight muscles there.
“Ah, my sweet girl. What am I gonna do with you?”
His words were whispered, as though he’d been talking to himself rather than me. But the words swirled around in my mind all the same. He’d called me “mysweet girl” several times now. Was I more than a simple patient to him? The way he was holding me so tightly against him, the neck massage, it all felt like more. But I wasn’t sure. I had zero experience with any of this stuff. Then I froze, my heart stuttering as I came to the startling realization that even with how much Eric and I were touching, there was no discomfort at all. No ants crawling over my skin. All I felt when Eric touched me was a wonderful soothing warmth that sank deep into me while tingles danced over my skin.
Truly, this miracle had to be the result of some sort of magic I hadn’t realized existed in the world.
