But sometimes…
Sometimes, the way he looks at me feels like so much more than that.
Like he truly sees me.
What would happen if I gave in?
“I have to tell you something,” he says, and his tone makes my stomach drop out.
I haul in a deep breath, then take a sip of my wine. Is he going to tell me Emerson signed his offer of representation? I don’t know how I’ll handle that, but if the ink’s dry, I don’t really have a choice in the matter, do I?
Straightening my shoulders, I brace myself, then give Max a nod to proceed.
His eyes search mine, almost frantic in their intensity. I’ve never seen him like this.
Honestly, I’ve never seen this man anything less than confident.
“Max, just say it. Whatever it is, I can take it.”
He winces, the movement so slight I don’t know if anyone else would have noticed it. But then, I’ve always noticed this man, haven’t I?
“I don’t remember that night.” He closes his eyes, his face twisting in discomfort. “After my second Superbowl… I don’t remember hurting you.”
I suck in a breath as my brain finally catches up to what he’s saying. “Oh.”Oh my god.He truly doesn’t remember our one-night stand or what immediately followed.
I’m not sure if that’s better or worse than him pretending not to remember—
“I was a piece of shit back then, Sutton. A real asshole.” He licks his lips, searching my eyes for something. “I don’t remember that entire weekend. It’s just screenshots, blurry ones at that, and a lot of black holes. I was on multiple substances, high from the win and from whatever the fuck I could get my hands on.” He shrugs, but the pain in his eyes makes my heart ache.
“Max, it’s okay—”
“No, Sutton, it’s not. It’s not okay at all.” He takes a long sip of his wine, then pins me with those dark eyes again. “You’re incredible. I wish I’d known you then, because I’mgreedyfor you now, and all I can think about is all the years I wasted not being a part of your life…” He swallows hard and I watch the muscles of his throat flex. “But even without knowing you then I know you didn’t deserve that version of me.” His voice cracks on the words. “I fucking hate that I hurt you, but I’m glad you only got that small glimpse of me.”
I reach for him beneath the table, and when our hands touch, he’s quick to wrap his around mine, gripping me fiercely.
“I’m sorry.” He squeezes my hand. “I’m so fucking sorry that I ever hurt you.”
I breathe deeply, then nod.
“I’m not that man anymore, Sutton.” His gaze drops to my lips, then flicks around my face as if memorizing each wrinkle and crease, each freckle…
When those dark eyes lock with mine again, the intensity makes my heart skip a beat. “I promise you that if you give me a chance, I’ll prove it. I’ll be the man you deserve.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Max
Her eyes are wide as they hold mine.
Seconds tick by, and my bravado inches away right along with them.
My heart beats a million reps per minute, thundering so loudly I’m amazed she can’t hear the sound.
I’ve told her my first secret, and remaining still while I wait to know how she’ll respond is a fucking testament to my self-control because all I want to do is lean forward and claim those lips, kiss her until she forgives me—or tells me to fuck off.
I can never come clean about myothersecret.
I simply cannot.
