I pull it out before I can stop myself.
Two more calls from Natalia.
Another text.
Please, Luka. I am begging you to hear me out, just once. She was wrong in that text. I didn’t sleep with you to get you to crack. Some part of you has to know that wasn’t true.
My hand tightens around the phone.
My chest feels hollow.
Because a part of me, the part I hate, wants to call her back. Wants to believe there is an explanation that will make this hurt less.
But if I call her back, I have to risk something, and I have spent too many years learning what it costs to risk something with the wrong person.
I shove the phone away again and finish dressing.
By the time I’m walking out to the parking lot, my nerves feel scraped raw. I can still hear the coach’s voice in my head. I can still hear Randolph’s. I can still see her smile.
I hate that my mind holds onto her like she’s unfinished business.
My sister called as I’m unlocking my truck. I’d like to ignore her phone call, but she’s the only person in the world that I would never do that to. If Katerina is calling, it’s for a good reason.
"Hello," I say.
"You’re alive," she says immediately, like she’s been waiting. "I saw the news."
Of course she did.
"Which part?" I ask dryly. "The part where I’m a reckless idiot, or the part where I’m a reckless idiot who got ‘duped’ by the PR agent that my agent hired?"
She huffs out a laugh. "Don’t pretend you don’t love the drama."
"I don’t," I say, annoyed that she thinks I would.
"Mm," she hums. "Sure. Because tricking Scottie into marrying me by beating him in a game of pool while all your teammates watch was as boring as a saltine cracker."
Maybe she has a point… maybe. I did it because I couldn’t be sure he would have agreed to it, and my father was already threatening my sister’s visa to stay in the states. I didn’t have a choice.
"I think that one turned out okay, wouldn’t you say?"
"Obvious… I’m happily married, but you’re not yet." Her tone shifts into something sharper. "Speaking of.... Let’s talk about Switzerland and gorgeous PR agents..."
I close my eyes briefly. "What about it?"
"You held hands," she says, enjoying it too much. "In public."
Turns out that Slade and Penelope aren’t the only ones who saw the photos.
"It was cold," I say, and I even hear how weak that excuse is.
Katerina laughs. "You are a liar. You have never held anyone’s hand because it’s cold. In fact, I’m confident that I’ve never seen you hold anyone’s hand… ever. Except when you were seven, and I was three and you were holding my hand to teach me to ice skate. Do you remember that?"
I nod. The days before things turned cold. The year before our father sent me to boarding school to ‘become a man’.
"It was the last time I truly remember being happy… before Mom got sick. Before our father went from being an asshole to a massive asshole." I say.
"Yeah…" she says, with sadness in her voice too. "I want to meet her."
