Her eyebrows knitted together, her arms crossing over her chest like armor. The worst of it, it’s armor against me. "Why does it matter?"
"Why does it—" I stop, jaw clenching so hard my teeth ache. "You don't get to do that. You don't get to—"
"Get to what, Luka?" Her voice rises. "Have my own room? Make my own decisions?"
I tilt my head to her, my lips pursed. "That’s not fair… You know that's not what this is about. I’m not trying to control you, Natalia, I just want to know what’s going on in your head."
"Then what is it about? Because ever since I got here, you’ve wanted me to turn right back around and leave. You’ve mentioned multiple times how you want me to fly back home and leave you alone."
I stare at her, and for a second, I don't know how to answer.
Because the truth is ugly.
The truth is I woke up this morning, and I'd slept through the night with a woman in my bed for the first time in my life, and when I came back from the gym to slide back into bed with her, she was gone. Like she'd never been there. Or maybe it was the idea that she didn’t want to be there anymore.
For one brief, gut-twisting moment, I thought she'd left. Not just the bed or the chalet, but left Switzerland without so much as a goodbye.
"I thought you were gone," I say finally, voice rough.
Her throat works as she swallows.
"We slept together last night." I remind her.
"I know," she says quickly, like she wants to keep the emotion out of it. Like she can press it flat and make it manageable. "I just didn’t think you’d take it like this. I thought you’d be relieved."
"Relieved?" I ask, my eyes searching hers. "I lost my mind."
She stares at me, and I can see the moment she starts connecting dots she doesn’t want to connect.
That this isn’t about logistics or a room assignment.
That this is about goodbyes.
I step closer. Not enough to crowd her, just enough that she’d have to choose to move away. She doesn’t, so I reach for her hands. She doesn’t pull them out of mine.
"I know what running looks like," I say, voice dropping, her hands in mine. "I should. I’ve mastered it."
"I’m not running," she insists. "I’m doing my job and getting out of your way like you asked." Her chin lifts a fraction, stubborn. "Now you can sleep naked in your bed, remember?"
The words are a jab, but her eyes aren’t. Her eyes are searching mine as if she’s trying to figure out what the rules are now. What changed last night, and what didn’t.
My chest tightens with something I don’t have a clean name for.
"Maybe I want you there when I do," I say, pulling her hands up to lay flat against my chest. I want her to feel the heat between us, the erratic thumping of my heart against my chest that still hasn’t eased since I found her stuff missing.
"You don’t get to say things like that," she whispers, and her voice shakes on the last word.
"Then tell me to stop," I tell her.
"Your heart rate… It’s pounding against your chest." She says, her fingers pressing tighter against my chest.
"It hasn’t slowed since I walked into the chalet and found you gone."
The sentence lands between us like a mistake. As if a truth that wasn’t supposed to make it past my teeth.
I watch the moment her face changed. Watch her lips part like she has an answer and can’t find it fast enough.
For a second, neither of us moved.
