“I’m not an addict.”
“No,” she says slowly. “Youthinkyou’re not an addict. Those are two different things, Blair. The addiction is there, and it won’t end easily.”
“How would you know?”
She lies down on the bed, arms propped under her head as she stares off into the ceiling. “I used to do drugs, too.”
“You did?” I blink, baffled.
Kaya always looks so… poised. Her elegance is not something one can wear easily. It’s not the clothes, the hair, or the makeup. It’s the way she carries herself, the way she speaks, acts and knows when to keep quiet. The fact that she used to do drugs comes as a shock.
“Mm,” she hums. “There’s not a drug on the market I haven’t tried.”
“Why would you do it?”
“It’s a long story.”
I shrug. “I’ve got time.”
It’s silent for a moment.
“Seven months, twelve days, and eighteen hours.”
“Pardon?”
“In total, that is the amount of time I spent chained to a wall like an animal.”
I sit down on the bed next to her. Her eyes flick to me, and there’s nothing within. Not a single emotion, just plain stoicism that sends chills down my body.
“What?”
“I was born as the only daughter of the Russian Pakhan,” she starts the story, and I lean forward, listening carefully. “My father hated that. He had three sons, including my twin brother, and he had no use for a daughter. Because there’s a big age gap between my two older brothers and me, they were shipped off to America to receive the best education. My twin, Victor, and I stayed back in Russia. My father came up with a plan. If he couldn’t use a daughter in the same way he’d use a son, he’d turn me into his own, personal weapon.”
My brows skyrocket to my hairline. “So, you received harsher training?”
Kaya laughs, but it lacks emotion. “Not quite. I was eight years old when he tried forcing me to kill a man for the first time. I was so young, so innocent and had no idea what it meant to rejecthis wishes.”
Pure shock takes over my features. “Eight years old?”
Kaya nods. “Because I said no, he built me my very own tower behind the castle. It had one room at the top, and that’s where he used to give me my punishments. That was the first time he ever locked me up. He left me there for two weeks, without any human contact. My nanny was the only one that came once a day to give me food, let me use the restroom, then chain me back up. Poor Nadia cried all while doing it.’’
My heart sinks to my feet. The fact that her own father would use psychological torture on a child is sickening, my stomach churning in disgust.
“She didn’t help you leave?”
“She couldn’t. She wasn’t scared he’d kill her, she was scared of how it would end for me. After two weeks were up, he let me out. He allowed me to taste a bit of freedom, let me go back to school as usual, then tried again a few months later. When I said no, he beat me to the point of needing medical care, which was provided by his personal doctor, yet again in that tower.”
“Jesus, Kaya…”
“I was scared of telling my brothers, especially the oldest one, Aleksei. He’s always had a soft spot for me, and no doubt, he would’ve killed our father where he stood. But he’d also return from the States to take over the business. And I didn’t want to be the reason he didn’t finish his education.”
“Where’s your mother in all of this?”
Kaya snorts, looking at me. “She’s been ill all my childhood, and at the time, she was battling cancer. She was bedridden, so I never bothered telling her.
My chest feels heavy. Goosebumps appear all over my arms, and Kaya’s story makes me sick. She’s suffered through so much, and something tells me she’s not done telling me this yet.
“Let me guess… You ended up killing a person?”
