Like a phoenix who rose from the ashes, I wanted a new start in this space. I wanted its new beginning to start with our own love story.
He must have seen the heat in my eyes as he spun us around in his arms and pushed my back up against the wall, kissing me like he had been starved of it. As he ran his hands through my hair, I didn’t even care that they were dirty. The fact that he was sweaty and strained from pulling apart the damage done to my rail house only turned me on more. This was a man whose desire to show up for others would never fail, he only needed to know that he was worthy of that same type of love. I was determined to show him that, even if it took our entire lives.
“Are you sure you don’t want to go back to the house?” he asked, while barely taking his lips off mine.
“I’m positive.”
“I don’t have any condoms here.”
“I’m on the pill. Please, Calvin. Take me.” I felt desperate. For him, for his touch, and I would take it any way I could.
My confirmation was all he needed to start ripping off our clothes like he couldn’t get to me fast enough. The cold air didn’t touch the atmosphere around us that was created by our own heat of the moment.
He tore my pants down, and as I stepped out of them, he hiked up one of my legs. I wrapped it around him, pulling him closer.
There was nowhere to lay down, or to even sit, but I knewthat didn’t concern the man who always proudly bragged about his ability to carry me every single time I insisted I could walk.
I moaned his name as he slipped inside me, and I heard his breath shudder in response. He pounded into me with a force I craved. The intense pressure of him inside me, paired with the feather-soft way his beard tickled as he kissed my neck, was a sensation from opposite sides of the spectrum that came together to create a world-shattering experience. He bit my neck and the electrifying pulse that coursed through my body was enough to make me come apart in his hold.
As I came, my other leg gave out, and he wasted no time scooping me up into both of his arms, using the wall to anchor my back and he continued to thrust into me throughout the orgasm.
I wasn’t quiet, and I didn’t care. There was no one around for miles to hear us anyway. And the louder I was, the more furious Calvin’s intensity became.
“Oh fuck, Stella.” His breaths were rapid against my neck and sent chills down my spine.
I felt his body quiver as he released inside me, and I tightened my legs around him, wanting to stay in this very moment for as long as possible.
He continued to hold me, and as his breaths evened out the grip of his hands loosened, rubbing small circles on my back.
“Stella, I love you. I love you so much. And if you want me to spend the rest of my life apologizing for what a sorry, stupid man I’ve been, then I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever you want me to, crawling back to you on my hands and knees if I must. Just please, say you still love me, too.”
“Oh, Calvin, I never stopped.”
“I need to hear you say it. Please,” he begged.
“I love you,” I said as I kissed his forehead.
“I love you,” I said as I kissed his nose.
“I love you,” I said one more time, but this time he beat me to it as he planted a big smiling kiss on my lips.
I should have known Calvin wouldn’t be satisfied with me only having one orgasm, so after he gave me another with his fingers, we finally decided it was maybe getting a little chilly and we should probably put our clothes back on.
As I pulled my sweater back over my head, my eyes caught on the burned pile of garbage I had started.
“Why did you leave me a note?”
“What note?” The confusion on his face sent a feeling of fear to the pit of my stomach.
“The day after our fight?”
He shook his head. “I left that same night, right after I talked with Grandma Trixie. What note?” he asked again.
“There was a note nailed to the doorframe.” I motioned to where I had found it. “All it said was ‘give up now.’ I thought you were mad at me and didn’t want me to follow through with the purchase.”
“Stella, I would never.” The look in his eyes was genuine hurt, and I felt bad for even having the accusation cross my mind.
“I know that now,” I assured him.
