“Stop it,” Calvin cut me off, shaking his head with a serious tone. “I didn’t ask you to apologize, and you didn’t lie once. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” he said while looking directly into my eyes. “But I don’t care what your name is, if you want to be called Crystal, or Stella, or Bob, for crying out loud.I don’t care, I just want the opportunity to knowyou.”
His words melted me, and his suggestion made me giggle. I didn’t know how I couldn’tgive him that part of me. The way hesaid my name now sounded like a song and this is how I wanted things to stay.
“I didn’t change it, I suppose. My legal name is still Crystal.” I cringed at the feeling of the name in my mouth. “But it didn’t feel right anymore. Nick only ever called me ‘babe,’ until he was angry. And that was the only time he used my name. The way he would say it…with such absolute resentment in his tone…it made me hate my name just because of the way he used it.”
The storm clouds rolled in Calvin’s eyes, and I could tell he was angry, but he didn’t say a word as he kept space for me to share my truth.
“When I showed up here, the bed and breakfast was the first place I came, and Trixie was the first person I met. She instantly felt like home. Her energy reminded me so much of my grandfather’s, right down to the way the house is decorated. And because of that, I chose to introduce myself to her as Stella, that’s what my grandpa called me.”
I looked up to Calvin to see a look of pure delight having replaced the storm clouds.
“What?” I couldn’t help but laugh at the goofy smile he held. “Do I have something on my face?”
“No, not at all.” He laughed. “It just makes me really happy to hear you say that Love feels like home.”
I thought back to what I just said, and I guess he was right. Being in Love finally did feel like coming home, and there was no way I was about to let Nick take that feeling away from me.
The next few days passed by relatively quietly—apart from all the ghosts, goblins and ghouls that lined the streets at the end of every October.
Although Patrick didn’t find any conclusive prints on the Polaroid, there were also no other packages received at the post office or phone calls to the floral shop, so I considered that a win. Maybe Stella was right and Nick would give up without getting a reaction, even though I had my doubts.
“Hey, Mom,” I greeted as I walked into our office warehouse. She had crunched the numbers after our Harvest Bonfire fundraiser, and we were ready to start planning for our next big event here at Hart and Heart Logging—Christmas in Love. “How’d we do?”
Her smile was brighter than I had seen at work for some time and it placed more building blocks onto a sense of confidence in me that we could turn things around. Stella’s courage was inspiring and definitely rubbing off on not only me, but other members of my family, too. If she could face scary situations and only come out as a stronger and happier version of herself, then I could do the same to benefit my family’s business.
“Well, the bonfire definitely helped,” she started. I braced myself for a but.“The fundraiser made up for our loss on the Johnstons’ order, and we’ve picked up a few more smaller jobs to keep us busy until Christmas.”
This was better news than I expected. I liked being busy, and Christmas was an even bigger asset to our business as we transformed into a winter wonderland, selling trees from our Christmas tree lot.
“We are still in a general deficit,” Mom explained, but the look of hope on her face didn’t waver even though the news did. “But the sponsorship donations we received during the Harvest Bonfire should set up Christmas in Love so nothing needs to come out of pocket and everything will be profit.” Tears filled her eyes.
I picked my mom up and swung her around, hugging her while she laughed.
“We’re going to be okay,” I said, placing her gently down on the floor.
“We always were, baby.” Her hand found my cheek and I relished in the comfort of it. “Now, how about you go find your girl and take her out to the Halloween party at Heartstrings,” she said, giving me a wink.
My girl.
The phrase never left my mind for the rest of the day. Stella wasn’t mine, but I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a part of me that hoped she could be.
After popping by Cupid’s Cup and chatting with Mel, it turned out the girls already had plans to go to Heartstrings, so I thought I would just have to get the guys together, but Garrett beat me to that, too.
“Okay, so what’s the plan for Halloween this year?” I asked.
We had gathered at Garrett’s apartment in town, it was just a small building with three units, Garrett’s being on the middle floor. He had his own plot of land on our property that would be there when he decided to build, but for now he liked the ease of access this provided him to his city life and his job. His place was a typical bachelor pad, no decorations hung on the wall or on shelves, only housing the necessary things he needed for the ins and outs of his life.
“I can’t believe you’re actually going to listen to him this year,” Patrick ribbed me.
Although Garrett relentlessly tried to get us into group costumes year after year, I always went with the dead lumberjack look. I typically kept on most of my usual attire but fixing a plastic axe to my head while Melody painted me up with makeup, making it look like I had some sort of fatal accident. It always went over well, and my creativity didn’t extend to costumes, so I was more than happy to stick to what I knew. That was, until Garrett demanded he had thebestidea and he wasn’t taking no for an answer. And I couldn’t deny the way Stella stretched herself and her limits to ensure she would still enjoy life had me reaching for something I normally wouldn’t either.
“Oh, man, you guys don’t even know the genius that is my brain!” Garrett exclaimed. “This is going to get us all the ladies.”
Patrick and I laughed and shook our heads. There was only one lady in mind I wanted to catch the attention of.
“Garrett,” Patrick said through chattering teeth, “are you sure this is a good idea? What if no one gets it?”
I couldn’t blame him, Garrett said we had to commit to the outfit, so we were basically naked if not for this slip of a costume over us. My bare legs had goose bumps covering my flesh, but I drew the line at shaving them as per Garrett’s request. Not a chance was Ithatcommitted to this costume.
