There were more, but they all looked to be repetitions of the same sentiments, and I had read enough. His words had assaulted me for so long and I was tired of giving them that power. I knew I was far enough away from his fists that he couldn’t seriously hurt me this time.
“What’s wrong, Stella?” Concern laced Olivia’s tone while the girls silently quizzed me with their stares. I hadn’t even realized they stopped their conversation.
“Oh, it’s nothing. I haven’t had service since I arrived so all my messages just came through. I didn’t even realize I had my phone on me.” I tried to laugh but it came out stilted. I didn’t want to burden my new friends with the demons from my previous life.
“No.” Melody’s stern voice seemed completely at odds from her usually bubbly personality. “I know that look. I’velivedthat look.Thatis not nothing.”
I couldn’t see a way to divert myself from this conversation, and part of me didn’t want to. I had hidden myself away for so long, shame was the disguise of all my struggles, and I was desperate to wear something else. To write a new story for myself as I started a new life in Love.
“I left a really bad relationship when I came here. Well…maybeleftis the wrong word. Rather, I ran away from, and he’s not exactly happy about it.”
“Congrats, girl,” Melody said with no ounce of sarcasm, leaning over to grab a hold of my hand.
Congratulations? People usually say that when you accomplish something. When you got married or had a baby or finished schooling. Not when your relationship dissipated.
Olivia nodded in agreement, like they had more experience than they led on. “Leaving is always the hardest part. You made the scary but bravedecision and followed through with it. That is something to celebrate. Now you get tolive.”
As I told them about Nick and our almost decade-longrelationship, I felt the weight rise off my shoulders. We cried together, we laughed together, and it was in those moments that I knew I didn’t have to face these battles alone any longer. Shame died when our stories were shared in safe spaces.
When I got to the part about the roses I received yesterday, that had obviously been from Nick, pure burning rage—as red as her hair—filled Melody’s eyes. “We need to tell my brothers and Patrick about that.”
“Please, no,” I begged her. “Please keep this between us. Nick isn’t going to actually do anything, he’s too busy with work…and putting in the effort to come here isn’t like him at all. He’s just trying to get into my head,” I tried to explain.
“Has he ever hurt you?” Olivia asked me quietly.
I nodded slightly, still feeling a weird sort of guilt for finally speaking my truth but noted it had less of a hold on me now. “Always in ways that were explained away, or places that no one would see when we were out in public.”
“You can’t keep that to yourself, Stella. You don’t deserve that. You need to tell someone,” Liv pushed, but it didn’t make me uncomfortable. The tone of her voice held so much fervor, I knew she was coming solely from a place of love and understanding.
“I’ve told you and that’s made a difference. I promise.” It wasn’t a lie. The way these women were making me feel gave me hope.
The girls looked unconvinced, but I promised to keep them in the loop if I received anything else, and that seemed to be enough to keep my secret.
I just wanted to start a new life in a new space, without any of my past burdens chasing me along the way.
“You know what we need this evening?” Olivia looked at Melody with a twinkle in her eye, effectively mitigating the tension in our conversation and bringing back the bright and bubbly energy she embodied.
“Obviously some good food, good drinks, and good music!” Melody cheered.
Before we parted ways, we made plans to meet up at Olivia’s apartment later to get ready and then head to Heartstrings Bar and Grill, which they assured me isthe place to beon a Friday night in Love.
Even after the events of today, I was giddy with excitement for my plans with my new friends, and I refused to let anything dull that shine.
Being at Heartstrings was the perfect end to this day, to this week, to get my head back on right. Being around the mingling crowd and live music untangled all my nerves and seemed to straighten out my thoughts a bit.
My family and our business may be my priority, but music was my passion and there was nowhere else I’d rather be on a Friday night than surrounded by it with my guys.
“Are you playing anything today?” Patrick asked after taking a sip of his Diet Coke and placing it on a nearby table. Nodding toward the stage and simultaneously flipping his dark hair out of his face, he leaned over and took his shot at the pool table, sinking two balls before missing his third.
“Yeah, I think I will,” I answered while Garrett went in for his shot and missed.
The beer was hitting the spot and loosening me up, and I knew that strumming my fingers on the guitar or picking up my harmonica would only make this feeling better.
“You want to join me?” I asked Garrett while we watched Patrick sink the eight-ball.
“Yeah, may as well,” he responded, rolling his eyes. “Notlike I’m winning any looks from the ladies by losing games over here.” Although Patrick and I had lost interest in the one-night stands, Garrett was still a force to be reckoned with.
We had been playing music together since we were kids. We’d make up songs on our guitars that eventually Melody would make up lyrics to, spinning around the house with her bright red hair and long skirts trailing behind her. It was hard to not make music part of your being when you grew up around it. My parents played and sang, my grandparents played and sang, and I wouldn’t be surprised if my great-grandparents had, too. Heartstrings was the heart and soul of our little town.
