Jackson took his place at the end of the room with the minister and shared a tempered smile with his parents. He’d told them about Ross, but only that he was Noah’s real father. Right or wrong, he stood firm in his decision to stop at that. Grief mixed with shame was a damaging force, and that secret alone was already taking a toll. He refused to shorten their lives any further.
Noah stood beside him, nervously rubbing his fingers along the hem, and Jewel, in a little dress the color of buttercream, stared wide-eyed from her grandmother’s lap.
Caroline’s father sat in his wheeled chair by the hearth, a blanket across his knees and a sprig of rosemary pinned to hislapel. His face was pale above his beard, but his eyes were full of pride.
Jackson smoothed his charcoal cutaway and checked his dark plum cravat one last time before the minister called the group to order. He couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face when Caroline walked up the makeshift aisle. She’d chosen an elegant dress of deep blue silk, and she’d never looked so beautiful.
When he took her hand and spoke his vows, his voice faltered for a breath. He’d given up on them ever marrying, and—though she was standing close enough to touch—he didn’t trust what he saw.
Caroline’s eyes glittered with unshed tears, but her smile shone through and didn’t waver. When it was her turn, she spoke her vows with sincerity and love.
“I love you,” Jackson whispered just before their lips met in a chaste kiss. He lingered longer than he should have, soaking up a moment he’d thought would never be.
The look on Caroline’s face conveyed the same sentiment. But later, as the evening faded, she slipped away and stood at the parlor window.
Jackson sidled up to her and put his arm around her shoulders.
“Were we wrong to marry so soon?” she asked.
“No,” he said, giving her a gentle hug. “Amanda wanted this.”
She nodded and laid her head on his shoulder.
Together they gazed out at the frost-covered garden. Dormant roses and leafless trees framed the view, but they would bud again in spring.
Chapter 21
June 1872
A sun-kissed breeze caressed Caroline’s face as she sat beside Jackson on the picnic blanket and sipped lemonade that had long since turned lukewarm. They hadn’t gone farther than the yard, but it didn’t matter. They were together.
The air was thick with the scent of lilacs and freshly turned earth. Red columbine adorned Amanda’s grave, and out past the fence, rows of wheat swayed in soft golden ripples.
A few yards away, Noah galloped in lopsided circles with a stick for a horse and a crown of dandelions Jewel had insisted he wear. She trailed behind him on bare, dusty feet, her pockets heavy with pebbles and her sun-kissed curls bouncing. Ranger trotted along behind her, tongue lolling, his tail wagging every time she called him “Sir Dog.”
A sentimental smile crossed Jackson’s lips as he watched the pair run and laugh. “I wish Amanda could see them.”
Caroline leaned sideways and laid her head on his shoulder. “She can.”
He planted a kiss on the top of her head. “Do you ever wonder what things might’ve been like if we’d made a life together from the start?”
“Sometimes. But we wouldn’t appreciate each other as much, and we wouldn’t have Noah and Jewel.”
Jackson sat a while without speaking. Like her, he was probably lulled by the pleasant weather and grateful for the break from work and responsibility. “Do you regret becoming a farm wife?” he asked.
“Not yet. Ask me next year.”
He chuckled. Then he turned his head slightly, just enough to catch her eye, and looked at her with the expression she’d never tire of—complete adoration with desire warming its depths.
She reclined on the blanket and stared at the clear blue sky.
The wind stirred a loose strand of Caroline’s hair. It put him in mind of the day he’d returned from war, of her running through her garden to greet him, whole locks riding on the wind, and something inside him ached—not with grief, but with time. The pain of longing for the years that had been stolen from them.
He let the feeling have its way with his heart for a while, then chided himself for dwelling on the past. Time had been an enemy, but Caroline was right. It had also stripped away everything but what was truly important.
“Jewel called me Mama today,” she said in a tone that sought his opinion.
“Youareher Mama.”
