“Good, because Ineverwant to be without you again.”
He’d meant that with all his heart, but he wouldn’t compromise his honor to attain it.
“There’s something you should know before we’re wed.” Jackson guided Caroline’s hand and pressed her palm against the leg of his trousers, firmly enough that she could feel the crater in his thigh. “I’ve got scars. That’s the worst of them, but there are more.”
Her brow dipped in a look of disbelief. “Did you think that would turn me away? No, Jackson. The only scars that grieve me are the ones in here,” she said as she touched his forehead, then lowered her hand and laid it over his heart, “and here.”
He covered her hand with his, overwhelmed by relief and filled with gratitude. Amanda had been a kind and loving partner, but Caroline saw beneath his stoical façade.
She knew him.
Caroline took his face in her hands and touched her lips to his in the sweetest of kisses. “I never stopped loving you, and I never will.”
Jackson hoped her declaration was true, because it was about to be tested.
He rested his forehead against hers and mustered the courage to tell her why he hadn’t explained his reasons all those years ago. He should look her in the eye—she deserved that much and more—but the shame of his affliction was too great. “I heard you crying in the garden that evening. I wanted to go to you and tell you why I chose Amanda, but a bout of Soldier’s Heart overtook me, and I couldn’t move.”
She pulled away and searched his eyes, a deep crease forming between hers.
“It happened again the day of the wedding,” he went on, fighting the urge to look away, “which left me reluctant to seek you out, lest that itself bring on another bout.”
Caroline had the look of someone putting pieces together. “When I came upon you by the fence, and you told me to go away...”
Jackson nodded. “The affliction has waned with time, but an occasional spell still besets me.”
Fresh tears welled in her eyes.
“I’ll understand if you don’t want to be yoked to a man like me,” he said, the words painful to utter, even though he meant them.
“I’m not crying because I’ve changed my mind. I’m crying because I was so dreadfully self-centered. Iknewyou weren’t the kind of man to do something like that without justification, yet I didn’t give you a chance to explain. I’m so sorry, Jackson. So very, very sorry.”
She cradled his face and kissed his forehead then his cheeks, the trails of her tears wetting his skin. “Forgive me for not seeing how much you were hurting,” she whispered against his lips.
He wrapped her in his arms and hugged her close. “You would’ve if you’d had more time.”
Jackson thumbed the moisture from her cheeks then pulled the box from his pocket that contained a family ring he’d been saving, a thin gold band crowned with a cluster of diamonds and pearls.
Caroline took the box from him and examined the ring. “It’s beautiful.”
“It was my grandmother’s.”
“Did Amanda wear it?” she asked without a hint of spite, only curiosity.
“No. I bought one for her. It’s among her things. The only finger I could ever imagine this ring on is yours.”
Chapter 20
From: Sagebrush Springs, Nebraska
Received: 12:20 PM December 27, 1871
Location: Greenvale
To: The Bennet Family of Walnut Lane
Leaving Fort Kearney now with Jackson and children. Will wed once we arrive.
Caroline Bennet
