He shakes his head, but when he turns around, his face is pale. “What the fuck was I thinking?”
That takes me aback. “Are you all right?”
A grunt escapes his lips. “Yeah. Never better.”
“What you said earlier?—”
“Did you think that meant something?” He sneers. “I was testing to see how far you’d go.”
Now I feel the blood draining from my face, too. “Why? Why would you do that?”
“I was bored.” He turns away from me and stumbles. Catches himself. “So fucking bored.”
“Right. Because killing monsters is a boring activity.”
“Try being alone in a world full of monsters.”
“Wait until Ardruna and Talton hear you disparaging them again. Then youwillbe all alone, as is apparently your wish.”
“My wish?” He laughs, a hollow sound. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Why don’t you tell me, then? Since you know everything.”
He runs his fingers through his hair, partially undoing his braid. “Fuck…”
“I don’t care about your little tantrum,” I say when the silence stretches. “We have to return the egg to the griffin. When we go?—”
“Weare not going anywhere. I will return the egg to the griffin, and you will return to your world.”
It’s a punch to the gut, every time he says it. “I thought I can’t leave.”
“I’ll find a way. I don’t want you around,” he snarls. “I don’t like you, little bird. I don’t like you rearranging my world, poking your nose where it doesn’t belong. Just fly back home.”
“Fine. Be that way.” I’m shaking, angry and embarrassed and strangely sad. “I didn’t ask you to be nice. Or to save my life.”
He tsks, tipping his head back and giving me a long, undecipherable look from under his dark lashes. And then he resumes walking.
Great. Excellent.
Gods, this is worse than I thought. He loathes me and I don’t know why, but you know what? My mistake. Quit the game it is, then. Why did I think it would be any different?
I’m such a fool. The most stupid woman ever. I should know better.
Naida taught me the stories. When you know the patterns, you have no excuse for erring like I just did. Letting yourself believe a moment of sweetness can offset a man’s consistently nasty behavior is stupid.
He saved your life again and again.
But that’s his duty as the library’s guardian. As my host in this world. It was obviously nothing personal.
Who would have known if he’d let you perish, though? Nobody is here to see, remember? Maybe you do mean something to him.
Or maybe he has his own code of honor. Or his animals hold him accountable. I don’t know. The point is, apparently, you can save someone and not feel anything for them.
Anything positive, like attraction. Fondness. Attachment. Learn something new every day, right?
The point is, he doesn’t feel anything for me.
Which makes sense, I tell myself. I barely know him. He barely knows me. I heard and read too many romantic tales where two people glance at each other and are instantly felled by the arrows of love. It didn’t happen here. That should have been my first clue.
